But prithee _Tom_, let my Divinity alone. Why should you strive to vex me by throwing Dirt at me now, tho' you know I was never disturbed by such impotent Petulance, when I was above Ground; or else I had Revilers enough to make me as Sick of _Ireland_, after all the Service I had done it by my Pen, as ever King _William_ was of _England_, after he had delivered it by his Sword. But let us put an End to this ugly Brawl, which even the Passion and Impudence of the living might blush at. It is a shame _Tom_, for old Friends to Quarrel for such miserable Trifles, and for the dead to grow so angry at them; puts us in as bad a Light, as the half-witted Fools that are still crawling on the Earth. Prithee be calm and cool as the Grave ought to make you, and let us agree to drop this fit of ill Humour, and I shall make you a Proposal that I hope will give you the highest Pleasure. If you will lay aside your Resentment for my abusing your Schemes, I will offer you one, that if ever it comes to be embraced, will make _Ireland_ one of the fortunate Islands. PRIOR. Make me Master of that important Secret, and convince me of its being probable and practicable, and my anger is over in an Instant, like an Infant's. Dear _Dean_, you rejoyce my Heart with the very hint you have dropt, and let me beg of you to communicate the whole to me. SWIFT. Why my Scheme is entirely bottom'd on that happy one of your Society's Premiums but so completely secur'd from my old Objection of the narrowness and uncertainty of its Fund, as to make the force of the Engine quite equal to the Work 'tis designed for. No one can have an higher Opinion than I of the salutary Effects, which publick and honorary Rewards have on the human Mind; and above all, when the Society's Fund does not depend on Charities given by Scraps and casual Helps quite inadequate to her extended Views, but on the publick Faith, and the great Source of all our Supplies the national Bounty, and the Zeal, the Generosity, the good Sense of our _Irish_ Representatives. It is as shameful to see a Kingdom depending on private Contributions, as a _Ballysarius_ begging of a common Soldier. The King thought so when he extended his royal Munificence to us, and tho' he cannot help all, or do all; he has shewn us he desires it, and would gladly spur us on to Exert ourselves, and be more generally Active and Busy. This illustrious Example makes me confident, that if in imitation of his Majesty, the Parliament should resolve to assist us; it would be the noblest and quickest Method of relieving all our Wants, and banishing Indolence and Misery for ever from _Ireland_.