"I came back to find out how you performed your duties, Annie. I'll begin with the best man. Jim Jackson, give an account of your stewardship." "Aw had three helpin's o' the plum-duff, twa o' the apple-pie, three o' the--" "I'm not taking an inventory of your interior furnishings," I said severely; "what I want to know is whether you performed your duties. Did you kiss the bridesmaids?" "Eh!" gasped Janet, "he'd better try!" "Do you mean to tell me he didn't?" I demanded. "Aw had a broken-oot lip," said Jim apologetically, "and Aw didna want to smit onybody." "And the bairn next door to oor hoose has the measles," he added hastily. "And Aw lookit at a book aboot etikquette and it didna say onything aboot kissin' the bridesmaids." "The bridesmaids didna want to kiss yer dirty moo, onywye, Jim Jackson," said Janet. "Aw've got a better moo than Tam Rigg, onywye," said Jim cheerfully. Janet gazed at his mouth curiously. "Your's is bigger, onywye." "Now, now," I said, "don't you set a newly married couple a bad example by quarrelling." I turned to Jean. "What did you think of the wedding, Jean?" "Jean grat," said Gladys, "and so did Jan. What was ye greetin' aboot?" "Aw dinna ken," said Jean simply. "Aw saw Maggie's mother greetin' so Aw just began to greet too. What was yer mother greetin' for, Maggie?" "I don't know, Jean." "Aw think she had the teethache," said Jim, "cos Aw heard the minister say to her to try a drap o' whiskey." "It wasna the teethache," said Annie scornfully, "but Aw ken why she grat." "To mak fowk think she was so fond o' Maggie that she didna want her to ging awa," suggested Gladys. "Na it wasna," said Annie, "she maybe was thinkin' o' Maggie's auldest sister Jean that dee'd when she was saxteen." "G'wa," cried Jim, "it's the fashion to greet at a marriage and a burial, but ye dinna greet at a christenin'." "Why no?" asked Jean. "Cos ye wudna be heard: the bairn greets a' the time." Janet glanced at Margaret. "That'll be the next party," she said brightly, "the christenin'. Did ye keep the top storey o' the cake, Maggie?" Margaret blushed at this. Janet seized her by the shoulders. "Ye needna tak a reid face, for Aw ken fine that ye did keep a bit o' the cake for the christenin'. Ye'll no need to keep it long or it'll get hard!" "Jan," cried Jean, reprovingly "ye shud na say sic things!" "Why no? The minister said something aboot a family when he was marryin' them." "Aye," said Jean, "but a minister's no like other fowk. If Mester Gordon says 'Hell' or 'damnation' in the pulpit it's religion, but if you say it it's just a swear." "Aw was at the manse when the minister fell over my barrow," said Jim, "and he said 'Hell!' Was that religion or a swear?" "Aw wud ca' it a lee," said Jean with a sniff; "only ministers and married fowk shud speak aboot bairns, and ye shud ken better, Jan." Janet looked at me timidly. "Did Aw do any wrong?"