It was the most awkwardly thrilling moment of George's life, when he
found himself confronted by the millionaire before the eyes of the Elder
Inhabitants. Because of the couple of ridiculous bundles he could not
grasp the hand of Mr. Jenkins; he dared not explain he was carrying the
porcelain about with him; so he muttered something about grand weather
and unexpected pleasure, then raced homewards with the American ambling
at his side.
"Crampy flung me a line telling me about your masterpieces. I beat the
sun this morning in an aeroplane invented by a friend; came to turf on
Salisbury plain; friend and driver broke rudder and ankle; caught a
horse, rode him barebacked to the nearest garage; bought a car, drove it
fifty miles; car broke down, sold it second-hand, hired a train, drove
here from the station--all so to speak. If I'm not first, I guess I'm a
derned good second."
"You needn't have hurried quite so much," gasped George, wishing he
could exaggerate like that.
"I guess, sir, when it comes to business, a man has got to put in his
best licks, or some other fellow will pull his foot ahead and spudgel up
the goods. Cramp has unloosed his jaw-tackle to the crowd. I'm not
particular scared of the Britishers, who look before they leap, and
think before they look, and make their wills before they think; but
there's quite a few Americans in your London, England, nosing around for
something specially ancient to take home. There's Wenceslas Q. Alloway
of Milwaukee. Lager-beer he is, or was, for now he's mostly grape juice
for conscience' sake; with an elegant white beard and the innocent ways
of an archangel--he's got this collecting craze so bad he'd mortgage his
immortality, or a thousand years of it, for a bit of old china, though
he'd try to stick in a clause to best the devil, for he's a pretty
derned orthodox First Baptist on a Sunday. I'm a Second Adventist, and
my crowd has just built a church in Philadelphia which for size and
shape makes your Westminster Abbey look a bit retrospective."
"Come inside," said George faintly. "I'm afraid I can't offer you much
hospitality, as I'm only staying here with my aunt who is not able to
receive visitors."
"Don't mention hospitality, sir. Just give me a sight of your vases, and
if they're genuine, you'll be giving me a gorge. Wonderful pretty place.
I'd like to ship the whole of this township across to America, put up a
barbwire fence around, and charge a dollar for admission. Beautiful
place to be buried in! Might I inquire if you are carrying anything
specially out of date?"
"I've been shopping," replied George.
"Mr. Drake!" called the voice of the postmistress. "A telegram vor ye,
sir."
George tore open the envelope and read, "Just heard from Crampy. Fifteen
hundred if O.K. Alloway."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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