American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
Before the week was over she gave him special reason to believe
that this was true. They were walking up and down the piazza one
evening and had been talking with much animation on a subject of
mutual interest. But she proved that there was in her mind a deeper
and stronger current of thought than that which had been apparent.
As the duskiness increased, and as in their promenade their faces
were turned away from those who might have observed them, she said
a little abruptly and yet with tremulous hesitancy:
"Mr. Van Berg, does your philosophy teach you to believe, as you
sung, on Sabbath evening, that
'There is no power to sever
The strong and true in mind?'"
Before answering he turned to look at her. Her face seemed to
stand out from the gloom of the night with a light of its own, and
was so white and eager as to be almost spirit-like. His tones were
sad as he replied:
"I wish I could answer you otherwise than as I must, for the impulse to
say some words of comfort, which I feel you need, is very strong.
I only sang of what I wished on Sunday evening. I have little
philosophy, and still less of definite belief in regard to the
future life. While I am not a theoretic skeptic, all questions of
faith are to me so vague and incomprehensible that I am a practical
materialist, and live only in the present hour."
"But, Mr. Van Berg," she said, in a low tremulous tone, "can you
not understand that some people cannot live in the present hour,
try as they may? Oh, how desperately hard I try to do so! Can
you not imagine that something in one's past may make a future
necessary to save from despair? If I lost my hold on that future
I should go mad," she added in a whisper. "How can any materialistic
philosophy be true when it fails us and so bitterly disappoints us
in our need?"
"I do not say it is true," he replied, earnestly. "Indeed your
words and manner prove to me, as could no labored argument, what a
poor superficial thing it is. I feel, with the force of conviction,
that it can no more meet your need than could the husks which the
swine did eat."
"Since you were sincere, I will be also," she continued in the
same low tone, looking away from him into the dark cloudy sky. "As
the hymn I sung may have suggested to you, I have not got very far
beyond mere submission and hope. Something in my own soul as well
as in revelation tells me that there is a 'happier shore,' and I
am trying to reach it; but the way, too often, is like that sky,
utterly opaque and rayless."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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