American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
And yet he was compelled to admit to himself that he did not
lover her as he supposed he would love the woman he hoped to make
his wife. Why was his heart so tranquil and his pulse so steady?
Certainly not because of assured success. Why did his regard differ
so radically from Stanton's consuming passion? Should Stanton
win her he felt that he could still seek her society and enjoy her
friendship. The prospect of never winning her himself did not rob
life of its zest and color. On the contrary, he believed that she
would ever be an inspiration, an exquisite ideal realized in actual
life. As such he could not lose her any more than those women whom
poetry, fiction, and history had placed as stars in his firmament,
and this belief so contented him as to awaken surprise.
As he returned from a long and solitary stroll on Monday evening
he soliloquized complacently, "I am making too great a mystery of
it all. She is not an ordinary woman. Why should I feel towards
her the ordinary and conventional love which any woman might evoke?
There is more of spirit than of flesh and blood in her exquisite
organization. Sorrow has refined away every gross and selfish
element, and left a saint towards whom devotion is far more seemly
and natural than passion. She awakens in me a regard corresponding
to her own nature, and I thank heaven that I am at least finely
enough organized to understand her and so can seek to win her in
accordance with the subtle laws of her being. She would shrink
inevitably from a downright, headlong passion like that of Stanton's,
no matter how honest it might be or how good the man expressing
it. No hand, however strong, will ever grasp this 'rara avis,'
this good angel, rather. Her wings must be pinioned by gossamer
threads of patient kindness, delicate sympathy, nice appreciation,
and all woven and wound so unobtrusively that the shy spirit may
not be startled. What a fool I was to blurt out my feelings last
evening! What rare good fortune is mine in the fact that she
gives me the vantage-ground of friendship from which to urge a suit
wherein must be combined sincerity with consummate skill. I fear
I must efface some other image before I can implant my own. How
fortunate I am that my cool and well-poised nature will enable me
to work under the guidance of judgment rather than impulse."
Feeling that he had much to gain and was in danger of irretrievable
loss, he lightly mounted the steps of the hotel, bent on finding
at once the object of his thoughts.
He saw her leaving a group in the parlor, of which Stanton was one,
and he hastened to intercept her in the hall-way. Just as he was
about to speak to her, Mr. Burleigh came bustling up and said:
"Miss Burton, a stranger--not to fame or fortune, nor to you
probably, but a stranger to me--is inquiring for you--a stranger
from the South. He would not give his name, and--good heaven, Miss
Burton! are you ill?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account