American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
"Miss Mayhew," he began in a low, hurried tone, "I must speak. You
said you were a woman. As such I appeal to you. A woman may, at
times, have no pity on herself, but it rarely happens that she is
pitiless towards others, and it is said that she is often the most
generous and merciful towards those who have wronged her. I have
wronged you cruelly and unpardonably. I knew it as soon as you
entered the parlor last evening. There is no excuse for me--I
will never forgive myself, but I do most sincerely apologize and
ask your forgiveness. Miss Mayhew, I appeal to your generosity--I
appeal to your woman's heart. If you should consummate the awful
purpose which I fear has been in your mind, I should go mad with
remorse. You would destroy me as surely as yourself. Pardon me for
speaking thus, but I fear so greatly--O God! can she have already
committed the fatal act?"
Ida's overtaxed powers had given way, and she would have fallen had
he not sustained her. His words had overwhelmed her, and, taken
in connection with those spoken by old Mr. Eltinge, had given a
glimpse of the awful abyss into which she had well nigh plunged,
dragging others, perhaps, after her. She recoiled from it all so
strongly that she became sick and faint from dread; and Van Berg
was compelled to support her to a rustic seat near the path. He
was bout to leave her in order to obtain assistance, when she put
her hand on his arm and gasped:
"Wait--give me time--I'll soon be better. Do not call any one, I
beg."
"Let me quietly bring you a little wine, then, from my own room?"
She bowed her assent.
The stimulant soon revived her. He stood at her side waiting with
intense anxiety till she should speak. At last she rose slowly
and weakly, saying in a low tone:
"Mr. Van Berg, I suppose I have now reached the lowest depth in
your estimation, but I cannot help it. I admit that I was in an
awful and desperate mood, and was about to act accordingly. There
is no use of trying to hid anything from you. But a good man spoke
kindly to me to-night, and the black spell is broken. There is
the drug I purchased," and she handed him the phial of laudanum.
"You many now dismiss all fears. I will explain further another
time if you care to hear. Please let me go in by myself."
"Pardon me for saying, no," he answered, gently. "I think I am
best able to-night to judge of what is right. You must go in at
the main entrance, and on my arm. Henceforward I shall treat you
with respect, and I intend that all others shall also."
With a low sob, she said, impulsively: "Oh, Mr. Van Berg, forgive
me! but that was my motive. I meant to compel your respect; and
I thought there was no other way. I thought that if I went to my
grave, instead of going to the man who attempted your life, you
would see that you had misjudged me. Here is a letter which I wrote
you. It should go with the poison. It is all that I can offer in
excuse or extenuation."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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