American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
"I believe Shakespeare was right," she said, with a shy laugh and
averted face. "Mercy is always twice bless'd. But I have not
told you all, Mr. Van Berg. Yesterday was the most memorable day
of my life. On Thursday Mr. Eltinge saw I needed encouragement;
yesterday he saw that I had not realized the crime I had almost
committed, and that I was stopping short of him who alone could
change my whole nature. Indeed, I think he saw that I was even
inclined to become well pleased with myself, and content with my
prospects of winning back the esteem of others. He was faithful
with me as well as kind. By an illustration, which you will pardon
me for not repeating, he made it clear to me as the light that in
the intent of my heart I had been guilty of murder. Mr. Van Berg,
may you never know the agony and remorse that I suffered for the
few moments I saw my sin somewhat as it must appear to God, and
to good men like Mr. Eltinge. I was overwhelmed. It seemed as if
my crime would crush me. I don't think I could have lived if the
sense of terror and despair had lasted. But dear old Mr. Eltinge
stood by me in that terrible moment. He put his hand on my head
as a father might have done, and in tones that seemed like a voice
from heaven, said: 'Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away the
sin of the world.' I felt that I could not bear my sin an instant
longer; it was like a mountain of lead, and with a desperate
impulse to escape, I looked to Christ--I just fled to him, as it
were, and it was the same as if he had opened his arms and received
me. From that moment I have felt safe, and almost happy. I can't
explain all this to you, I only tell you what happened. It doesn't
seem like superstition or excited imagination, as I've heard some
characterize these things. It was all too real: Mr. Van Berg, the
simple truth is--I've found a Friend, who is pledged to take care
of me. I KNOW IT. I am reading the story of his life, under Mr.
Eltinge's guidance, and that is why I come here. Now you know all
the mystery there is about the faulty girl in whom circumstances
have given you a passing interest. Since you knew so much that
was against me, perhaps you will not think it strange that I was
willing you should learn what is now in my favor. It is simply
this--I've found a Divine Friend who will help me live a better
life."
They had now reached Mr. Eltinge's gate, and Van Berg stepped out
to open it. But before doing so, he turned to his companion, and
with eyes moist with feeling, said earnestly:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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