American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
"Your affection for Mr. Eltinge," he said gently, "is as beautiful
as it is natural. No manifestation of it needs any apology, and
least of all to me, for I owe to him far more than life. But I am
paining you by recalling the past," he said regretfully, as Ida's
tears began to gather again. "Let me try to make amends by returning
at once to the present and to my work. Before I go on any farther
with your portrait I want you to put this rose-bud in your hair,"
and from a hidden nook he brought a little vase containing only
one exquisite bud. Ida had barely time to see that it was in color
and size precisely like the emblem of herself that he had thrown
away, and for a few minutes she utterly lost her self-control. She
buried her face in her hands, and her low, stifled sobs filled Van
Berg with the keenest distress and perplexity.
"Miss Ida," he said earnestly, "I would rather every tear you are
shedding were a drop of my blood," but his words only made them
flow faster still.
Suddenly she sprang up, and turning her back upon him, dashed away
her tears almost fiercely. "Oh! this is shameful!" she exclaimed,
in low, indignant tones. "Mr. Van Berg, what must you think of
me? Please turn Mr. Eltinge's face away, for he is looking at me
just as he did when my heart was breaking, and--and--I've lost my
self-control, and I had better not come here till I can cease being
so weak and foolish."
"Is it weak to be grateful?" he asked, gently. "Is it foolish to
love one so thoroughly entitled to your love? I honor you for your
deep and tender affection for Mr. Eltinge, and every tear you have
shed proves to me that in this perfect flower I am now finding the
true emblem of yourself."
"No," she said, almost passionately, "I have no right to it. The
other one that you threw away is true of me, and always will be.
This but mocks me with its perfection. I would be a hypocrite if
I should put it in my hair, and smile complacently while you painted
it. My heart clings to the other emblem, and I know I must develop
as best I can, as that would have done after its destroyer was
taken away. No, Mr. Van Berg. I have seen myself in the strong,
sharp light of truth. If you are willing to be my friend, please
be an honest one. My faithful old friend in the country would
scarcely take my portrait if this perfect flower were introduced
with any such meaning as you attach to it, and I certainly would
be ashamed to give it to him. Mr. Van berg, we MUST let bygones
by bygones, or we never can get on. See how absurdly I have acted
both yesterday and to-day, and all through recalling the past.
Indeed, indeed, it will never do for me to come here again, and
if you can make such a marvellous likeness of Mr. Eltinge as you
have, I scarcely think there will be any need."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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