American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
Quickly withdrawing it, she said with a little decisive node: "You
must sit down and sit still, for I have along, tiresome story to
tell, and a very prosaic favor to ask;" for she had resolved, "he
shall go forward now with his eyes open, and he shall never say I
won him by seeming what I was not. If I can't deal right by Jennie
Burton, I will by him."
"I shall find no service prosaic; see, I'm all attention," and he
did look very eager indeed.
"That encyclopaedia suggests my story, and I may have to refer
incidentally to myself."
"Leave the book out; I'll listen for ages."
"I should be out of breath before that. Mr. Van Berg, I'm in earnest;
I don't know anything worth knowing. My life has been worse than
wasted, and the only two things I understand well are dancing and
flirting. Now I know you are disgusted, but its the truth. My old,
fashionable life seems to me like the tawdry scenes of a second-rate
theatre, where everything is for effect and nothing is real. I
have hosts of acquaintances, but I haven't any friends except Mr.
Eltinge."
"And Harold Van Berg," put in the artist, promptly.
"It's good of you to say that after such confessions," she continued,
with a shy glance. "I hope it wasn't out of politeness. Well,
I've waked up at last. I think you first startled me out of my
insufferable stupidity and silliness at the concert garden, and
I'm very much obliged to you for the remark you made to Cousin Ik
on that occasion."
"Yes, I remember," Van Berg groaned. "I waked you up as if I were
trying to put your shoulder out of joint. Well, I'm waking up
also."
"You have no idea what a perfect sham of a life I led," and she
told him frankly of her wasted school days and of her trip abroad,
for which she had no preparation of mind or character. "A butterfly
might have flown over the same ground and come back just as wise,"
she said. "But I have suddenly entered a new world of truth
and duty, and I am bewildered; I am anxious to fit myself for the
society of sensible, cultivated people, and I am discouraged by
the task before me. I went to father's library yesterday and was
perfectly appalled by the number of books and subjects that I know
nothing about. The fact that I stumbled into that encyclopaedia,
which gave you the laugh against me, shows how helpless I am.
Indeed, I'm like a little child trying to find its way through a
wilderness of knowledge. I blundered on as far as Amsterdam, and
there I stopped in despair. I didn't know what was before me, and
I was getting everything I had been over confused and mixed up in
my mind. And now, Mr. Van Berg, with your thorough education and
wide experience you can tell me what to read and how to read."
Van Berg's face was fairly alive with interest, and he said eagerly:
"The favor you ask suggests a far greater one on my part. Let me
go with you through this wilderness of knowledge. We can take up
courses of reading together."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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