American fiction -- 19th century; Artists -- Fiction
She resented this disapproval, and at the same time respected him
for it. Indeed he puzzled her. He evidently sought and wished
for her society; and yet as they walked back and forth, even though
she did not look at him when the light gave her the opportunity
to do so, she felt intuitively that he did not enjoy her company.
She saw that he was laboring hard to make himself agreeable; but
his small talk had not the familiar flippancy and fluency of one
speaking in his native tongue; nor was his manner that of one who,
infatuated with her beauty, had thrown aside all other considerations.
She felt that the man at her side measured her, and understood her
littleness thoroughly.
And she herself had a growing consciousness of insignificance that
was as painful as it was novel. Adding to all the humiliations
of this day here was a man, not so very much older than herself,
trying to come down to her level, as he would accommodate his
language to a child. No labored argument could have revealed her
ignorance to her so clearly, as her conscious inability to follow
him into his ordinary range of thought. Unwittingly he had demonstrated
his superiority in a way that she could not deny, however much she
might be inclined to resent it. And yet he treated her with a sort
of respect, and occasionally she saw that he bent his eyes upon
her face as if in search of something.
After a transient effort to ignore everything and talk in her usual
superficial manner, she became more and more silent and oppressed,
and, at last said, somewhat abruptly:
"Mr. Van Berg, I am weary, and I imagine you are too. I think I
will say good-night."
"I scarcely wonder that you are fatigued. You have had a trying
day."
"It has been a horrid day," she said, emphatically.
"It might have ended much worse, nevertheless."
"Possibly," she admitted with a shrug.
"You have more reason to congratulate yourself than you imagine,
Miss Mayhew. Even that disagreeable souvenir of our morning peril,
your lameness, has disappeared, and you might have been maimed for
life."
"My lameness, like my courage, was chiefly a fraud to begin with,
and soon disappeared; but I have other souvenirs of that occasion
that I cannot get rid of so easily."
"If I am one of them, you are right, Miss Mayhew; I shall hold you
to our agreement this morning. You put me on my good behavior--have
I not behaved well?"
"Yes, better than I have. I was not referring to you personally,
but to certain memories."
"We agreed to let by-gones be by-gones."
"But others are not parties to this agreement, and every reference
to the affair is odious to me."
"I shall make no further reference to it, and you must be fair
enough not to punish me for the acts of others."
"You also despise me in your heart of my course towards Miss Burton
this evening."
"If I despised you would I have sought your society this evening?"
"I do not know. I don't understand you, if you will permit my
bluntness."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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