"God knows. Perhaps he will direct me."
Mr. Moss considered a moment, then took ten five pound banknotes from
his pocket, and laid them on the table.
"I will leave this money with you," he said.
"No, no!" cried Aaron.
"Why not? It will do no harm. You are to be trusted, Cohen. In case
you refuse I will take it back. If you do not come for me I will come
for you, so I will not wish you good-night. Don't trouble to come to
the door; I can find my way out."
Aaron was alone, fully conscious that this hour was, perhaps, the most
momentous in his life. The money was before him, and he could not keep
his eyes from it. It meant so much! It seemed to speak to him, to say,
"Life or death to your beloved wife. Reject me, and you know what will
follow." All his efforts to bring himself to a calm reflection of the
position were unavailing. He could not reason, he could not argue with
himself. The question to be answered was not whether it would be right
to take a child born of Christian parents into his house, to bring her
up as one of a Jewish family, but whether his dear wife was to live or
die. And he was the judge, and if he bade his friend take the money
back he would be the executioner. Of what value then would life be to
him? Devout and full of faith as he was, he still, in this dread
crisis, was of the earth earthy. His heart was torn with love's agony.
The means of redemption were within his reach. Why should he not avail
himself of them?
Rachel enjoyed life for the pleasure it gave her; stricken with
blindness as she was, he knew that she would still enjoy it, and that
she would shed comfort and happiness upon all who came in contact with
her. Was it for him to snap the cord, to say, "You shall no longer
enjoy; you shall no longer bestow happiness upon others; you shall no
longer live to lighten the trouble of many suffering mortals, to shed
light and sweetness in many homes"? Was this the way to prove his love
for her? No, he would not shut the door of earthly salvation which had
been so providentially opened to him; he would not pronounce a
sentence of death against the dear woman he had sworn to love and
cherish.
Aaron was not aware that in the view he was taking he was calling to
his aid only these personal and sympathetic affections which bound him
and Rachel together and that out of a common, human selfishness he was
thrusting from the scale the purely moral and religious obligations
which usually played so large a part in his conduct of life. In this
dark hour love was supreme and held him in its thrall; in this dark
hour he was intensely and completely human; in this dark hour the soft
breathing of a feeble woman was more potent than the sound of angels'
trumpets from the Throne of Grace, the sight of a white, worn face
more powerful than that of a flaming sword of justice in the skies.
He had arrived at a decision; he would receive the child of strangers
into his home.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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