Ethics -- Fiction; Religion and sociology -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
It begins indeed to look as if I were writing this narrative upside
down, for I have said nothing about children. Perhaps one reason for
this omission is that I did not really appreciate them, that I found
it impossible to take the same minute interest in them as Tom, for
instance, who was, apparently, not content alone with the six which he
possessed, but had adopted mine. One of them, little Sarah, said “Uncle
Tom” before “Father.” I do not mean to say that I had not occasional
moments of tenderness toward them, but they were out of my thoughts much
of the time. I have often wondered, since, how they regarded me; how,
in their little minds, they defined the relationship. Generally, when I
arrived home in the evening I liked to sit down before my study fire and
read the afternoon newspapers or a magazine; but occasionally I went at
once to the nursery for a few moments, to survey with complacency the
medley of toys on the floor, and to kiss all three. They received my
caresses with a certain shyness--the two younger ones, at least, as
though they were at a loss to place me as a factor in the establishment.
They tumbled over each other to greet Maude, and even Tom. If I were an
enigma to them, what must they have thought of him? Sometimes I would
discover him on the nursery floor, with one or two of his own children,
building towers and castles and railroad stations, or forts to be
attacked and demolished by regiments of lead soldiers. He was growing
comfortable-looking, if not exactly stout; prematurely paternal, oddly
willing to renounce the fiercer joys of life, the joys of acquisition,
of conquest, of youth.
“You'd better come home with me, Chickabiddy,” he would say, “that
father of yours doesn't appreciate you. He's too busy getting rich.”
“Chickabiddy,” was his name for little Sarah. Half of the name stuck to
her, and when she was older we called her Biddy.
She would gaze at him questioningly, her eyes like blue flower cups, a
strange little mixture of solemnity and bubbling mirth, of shyness
and impulsiveness. She had fat legs that creased above the tops of the
absurd little boots that looked to be too tight; sometimes she
rolled and tumbled in an ecstasy of abandon, and again she would sit
motionless, as though absorbed in dreams. Her hair was like corn silk in
the sun, twisting up into soft curls after her bath, when she sat rosily
presiding over her supper table.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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