Ethics -- Fiction; Religion and sociology -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
I sat in my room at the Club that night and reread the article, and if
its author could have looked into my soul and observed the emotions he
had set up, he would, no doubt, have experienced a grim satisfaction.
For I, too, had come in for a share of the comment. Portions of the
matter referring to me stuck in my brain like tar, such as the reference
to my father, to the honoured traditions of the Parets and the Brecks
which I had deliberately repudiated. I had less excuse than many others.
The part I had played in various reprehensible transactions such as the
Riverside Franchise and the dummy telephone company affair was dwelt
upon, and I was dismissed with the laconic comment that I was a graduate
of Harvard....
My associates and myself were referred to collectively as a “gang,” with
the name of our city prefixed; we were linked up with and compared to
the gangs of other cities--the terminology used to describe us being
that of the police reporter. We “operated,” like burglars; we “looted”:
only, it was intimated in one place, “second-story men” were angels
compared to us, who had never seen the inside of a penitentiary. Here
we were, all arraigned before the bar of public opinion, the relentless
Dickinson, the surfeited Scherer, the rapacious Grierson, the salacious
Tallant. I have forgotten what Miller Gorse was called; nothing so
classic as a Minotaur; Judd Jason was a hairy spider who spread his net
and lurked in darkness for his victims. Every adjective was called upon
to do its duty.... Even Theodore Watling did not escape, but it was
intimated that he would be dealt with in another connection in a future
number.
The article had a crude and terrifying power, and the pain it aroused,
following almost immediately upon the suffering caused by my separation
from Nancy, was cumulative in character and effect, seeming actively to
reenforce the unwelcome conviction I had been striving to suppress, that
the world, which had long seemed so acquiescent in conforming itself to
my desires, was turning against me.
Though my hunger for Nancy was still gnawing, I had begun to fear that I
should never get her now; and the fact that she would not even write to
me seemed to confirm this.
Then there was Matthew--I could not bear to think that he would ever
read that article.
In vain I tried that night to belittle to myself its contentions and
probable results, to summon up the heart to fight; in vain I sought to
reconstruct the point of view, to gain something of that renewed hope
and power, of devotion to a cause I had carried away from Washington
after my talk with Theodore Watling. He, though stricken, had not
wavered in his faith. Why should I?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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