Ethics -- Fiction; Religion and sociology -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
I heard his words distinctly, but at first lacked the faculty of
stringing them together, or rather of extracting their collective sense.
The phrases indeed were set ringing through my mind, I found myself
repeating them without any reference to their meaning; I had reached the
peculiar pitch of excitement that counterfeits abnormal calm, and all
sense of strangeness at being there in that meeting had passed away. I
began to wonder how I might warn Krebs, and presently decided to send him
a note when he should have finished speaking--but I couldn't make up my
mind whether to put my name to the note or not. Of course I needn't have
entered the hall at all: I might have sent in my note at the side door.
I must have wished to see Krebs, to hear him speak; to observe, perhaps,
the effect on the audience. In spite of my inability to take in what he
was saying, I was able to regard him objectively,--objectively, in a
restricted sense. I noticed that he had grown even thinner; the flesh had
fallen away from under his cheek-bones, and there were sharp, deep,
almost perpendicular lines on either side of his mouth. He was emaciated,
that was the word. Once in a while he thrust his hand through his dry,
ashy hair which was of a tone with the paleness of his face. Such was his
only gesture.
He spoke quietly, leaning with one elbow against the side of his reading
stand. The occasional pulsations of applause were almost immediately
hushed, as though the people feared to lose even a word that should fall
from his dry lips. What was it he was talking about? I tried to
concentrate my attention, with only partial success. He was explaining
the new theory of city government that did not attempt to evade, but
dealt frankly with the human needs of to-day, and sought to meet those
needs in a positive way... What had happened to me, though I did not
realize it, was that I had gradually come under the influence of a tragic
spell not attributable to the words I heard, existing independently of
them, pervading the spacious hall, weaving into unity dissentient minds.
And then, with what seemed a retarded rather than sudden awareness, I
knew that he had stopped speaking. Once more he ran his hand through his
hair, he was seemingly groping for words that would not come. I was
pierced by a strange agony--the amazing source of which, seemed to be a
smile on the face of Hermann Krebs, an ineffable smile illuminating the
place like a flash of light, in which suffering and tragedy, comradeship
and loving kindness--all were mingled. He stood for a moment with that
smile on his face--swayed, and would have fallen had it not been for the
quickness of a man on the platform behind him, and into whose arms he
sank.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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