Ethics -- Fiction; Religion and sociology -- Fiction; Upper class families -- Fiction
"Wait," I said.... "I have come to you, through them. I want to say again
that I should not be here if I had obtained my desires. Yet there is more
to it than that. I think I have reached a stage where I am able to say
that I am glad I didn't obtain them. I see now that this coming to you
was something I have wanted to do all along, but it was the cowardly
thing to do, after I had failed, for it was not as though I had conquered
the desires, the desires conquered me. At any rate, I couldn't come to
you to encumber you, to be a drag upon you. I felt that I must have
something to offer you. I've got a plan, Maude, for my life, for our
lives. I don't know whether I can make a success of it, and you are
entitled to decline to take the risk. I don't fool myself that it will be
all plain sailing, that there won't be difficulties and discouragements.
But I'll promise to try."
"What is it?" she asked, in a low voice. "I--I think I know."
"Perhaps you have guessed it. I am willing to try to devote what is left
of my life to you and to them. And I need your help. I acknowledge it.
Let us try to make more possible for them the life we have missed."
"The life we have missed!" she said.
"Yes. My mistakes, my failures, have brought us to the edge of a
precipice. We must prevent, if we can, those mistakes and failures for
them. The remedy for unhappy marriages, for all mistaken, selfish and
artificial relationships in life is a preventive one. My plan is that we
try to educate ourselves together, take advantage of the accruing
knowledge that is helping men and women to cope with the problems, to
think straight. We can then teach our children to think straight, to
avoid the pitfalls into which we have fallen."
I paused. Maude did not reply. Her face was turned away from me, towards
the red glow of the setting sun above the hills.
"You have been doing this all along, you have had the vision, the true
vision, while I lacked it, Maude. I offer to help you. But if you think
it is impossible for us to live together, if you believe my feeling
toward you is not enough, if you don't think I can do what I propose, or
if you have ceased to care for me--"
She turned to me with a swift movement, her eyes filled with tears.
"Oh, Hugh, don't say any more. I can't stand it. How little you know, for
all your thinking. I love you, I always have loved you. I grew to be
ashamed of it, but I'm not any longer. I haven't any pride any more, and
I never want to have it again."
"You're willing to take me as I am,--to try?" I said.
"Yes," she answered, "I'm willing to try." She smiled at me. "And I have
more faith than you, Hugh. I think we'll succeed."....
At nine o'clock that night, when we came out through the gates of the
big, noisy station, the children were awaiting us. They had changed, they
had grown. Biddy kissed me shyly, and stood staring up at me.
"We'll take you out to-morrow and show you how we can ride," said
Moreton.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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