A Fearful Responsibility and Other StoriesHowells, William Dean
General
A Fearful Responsibility and Other Stories
Howells, William Dean
Manners and customs -- Fiction
There were now no circumstances to prevent their early union, yet the
happy conclusion was one to which Tonelli urged himself after many
secret and bitter displeasures of spirit. I am persuaded that his love
for Carlotta must have been most ardent and sincere, for there was
everything in his history and reason against marriage. He could not
disown that he had hitherto led a joyous and careless life, or that he
was exactly fitted for the modest delights, the discreet variety, of his
present state,--for his daily routine at the notary's, his dinner at the
Bronze Horses or the cook-shop, his hour at the caffe, his walks and
excursions, for his holiday banquet with the Cenarotti, and his formal
promenade with the ladies of that family upon the Molo. He had a good
employment, with a salary that held him above want, and afforded him the
small luxuries already named; and he had fixed habits of work and of
relaxation, which made both a blessing. He had his chosen circle of
intimate equals, who regarded him for his good-heartedness and wit and
foibles; and his little following of humble admirers, who looked upon
him as a gifted man in disgrace with fortune. His friendships were as
old as they were secure and cordial; he was established in the
kindliness of all who knew him; and he was flattered by the dependence
of the Paronsina and her mother, even when it was troublesome to him.
He had his past of sentiment and war, his present of story-telling and
romance. He was quite independent: his sins, if he had any, began and
ended in himself, for none was united to him so closely as to be hurt by
them; and he was far too imprudent a man to be taken for an example by
any one. He came and went as he listed, he did this or that without
question. With no heart chosen yet from the world of woman's love, he
was still a young man, with hopes and affections as pliable as a boy's.
He had, in a word, that reputation of good-fellow which in Venice gives
a man the title of _buon diavolo_, but on which he does not anywhere
turn his back with impunity, either from his own consciousness or from
public opinion. There never was such a thing in the world as both good
devil and good husband; and even with his betrothal Tonelli felt that
his old, careless, merry life of the hour ended, and that he had tacitly
recognized a future while he was yet unable to cut the past. If one has
for twenty years made a jest of women, however amiably and insincerely,
one does not propose to marry a woman without making a jest of one's
self. The avenging remembrance of elderly people whose late matrimony
had furnished food for Tonelli's wit now rose up to torment him, and in
his morbid fancy the merriment he had caused was echoed back in his own
derision.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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