"But I've told you twice that I held my hand over Pinko's nose and he just couldn't bark, Mr. Smart. You are really most unreasonable about it. The dog had to have a breath of fresh air." "Why not send him up to the top of the tower and let him run around on the--" "Oh, there's no use talking about it any longer," she said wearily. "It is all over and no real harm was done. I am awfully sorry if they made it uncomfortable for you. It is just like him to suggest something--well, scandalous. And the rest of them are dreadful teases, especially Mrs. Smith. They love anything risque. But you haven't told me what they said that kept you awake all night." My dignity was worth beholding. "It was not what they said to me, Countess, but what they left unsaid. I sha'n't tell you what they said." "I think I can make a pretty good guess--" "Well, you needn't!" I cried hastily, but too late. She would out with it. "They accuse you of being a sad, sad dog, a foxy; bachelor, and a devil of a fellow. They all profess to be very much shocked, but they assure you that it's all right,--not to mind them. They didn't think you had it in you, and they're glad to see you behaving like a scamp. Oh, I know them!" As a matter of fact, she was pretty near to being right. "All the more reason for you to be cautious and circumspect," said I boldly. "Pray think of my position, if not your own." She gave me a queer little look and then smiled brightly. (She _is_ lovely!) "I'll promise to be good," she said. "I only ask you to be careful," said I, blunderingly. She laughed aloud: her merriest, most distracting gurgle. "And now will you be good enough to tell me who I am?" she asked, after a few minutes. "That is, who am I supposed to be?" "Oh," said I uneasily, "you are really nobody. You are Britton's wife." "What! Does Britton know it?" "Yes," said I, with a wry smile. "He took a mean advantage of me in the presence of George Hazzard not an hour ago, and asked for a raise in wages on account of his wife's illness. It seems that you are an invalid." "I hope he hasn't forgotten the baby in his calculations." "He hasn't, you may be sure. He has named the baby after me." "How original!" "I thought it rather clever to change Rosemary's sex for a few days," said I. "Moreover, it will be necessary for Britton to take Max's place as your personal servant. He will fetch your meals and--" "Oh, I can't agree to that, Mr. Smart," she cried with decision. "I must have Max. He is--" "But Britton must have some sort of a pretext for--" "Nonsense! No one cares about Britton and his sick wife. Let well enough alone." "I--I'll think it over, Countess," said I weakly.