She stood a moment, nervously buttoning his coat across his breast. “You
mustn’t let that picture be sold, Henry,” she said, and by this touch
alone did she express any sense, if she had it, of his want of feeling
in proposing to sell it. He winced, and she added with a soft pity in
her voice, “He did bring us together, after all. I wish you had believed
him, dear!”
“So do I,” said Ferris, most humbly.
* * * * *
People are never equal to the romance of their youth in after life,
except by fits, and Ferris especially could not keep himself at what he
called the operatic pitch of their brief betrothal and the early days of
their marriage. With his help, or even his encouragement, his wife might
have been able to maintain it. She had a gift for idealizing him, at
least, and as his hurt healed but slowly, and it was a good while before
he could paint with his wounded arm, it was an easy matter for her to
believe in the meanwhile that he would have been the greatest painter
of his time, but for his honorable disability; to hear her, you would
suppose no one else had ever been shot in the service of his country.
It was fortunate for Ferris, since he could not work, that she had
money; in exalted moments he had thought this a barrier to their
marriage; yet he could not recall any one who had refused the hand of a
beautiful girl because of the accident of her wealth, and in the end he
silenced his scruples. It might be said that in many other ways he was
not her equal; but one ought to reflect how very few men are worthy
of their wives in any sense. After his fashion he certainly loved her
always,--even when she tried him most, for it must be owned that she
really had that hot temper which he had dreaded in her from the first.
Not that her imperiousness directly affected him. For a long time after
their marriage, she seemed to have no other desire than to lose her
outwearied will in his. There was something a little pathetic in this;
there was a kind of bewilderment in her gentleness, as though the
relaxed tension of her long self-devotion to her mother left her without
a full motive; she apparently found it impossible to give herself with a
satisfactory degree of abandon to a man who could do so many things for
himself. When her children came they filled this vacancy, and afforded
her scope for the greatest excesses of self-devotion. Ferris laughed
to find her protecting them and serving them with the same tigerish
tenderness, the same haughty humility, as that with which she used to
care for poor Mrs. Vervain; and he perceived that this was merely the
direction away from herself of that intense arrogance of nature which,
but for her power and need of loving, would have made her intolerable.
What she chiefly exacted from them in return for her fierce devotedness
was the truth in everything; she was content that they should be rather
less fond of her than of their father, whom indeed they found much more
amusing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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