“But you believe in your Church?”
“I have no Church.”
There was a silence in which Don Ippolito again dropped his head upon
his breast. Florida leaned forward in her eagerness, and murmured, “You
believe in God?”
The priest lifted his eyes and looked at her beseechingly. “I do not
know,” he whispered. She met his gaze with one of dumb bewilderment. At
last she said: “Sometimes you baptize little children and receive them
into the church in the name of God?”
“Yes.”
“Poor creatures come to you and confess their sins, and you absolve
them, or order them to do penances?”
“Yes.”
“And sometimes when people are dying, you must stand by their death-beds
and give them the last consolations of religion?”
“It is true.”
“Oh!” moaned the girl, and fixed on Don Ippolito a long look of wonder
and reproach, which he met with eyes of silent anguish.
“It is terrible, madamigella,” he said, rising. “I know it. I would fain
have lived single-heartedly, for I think I was made so; but now you see
how black and deadly a lie my life is. It is worse than you could have
imagined, is it not? It is worse than the life of the cruelest bigot,
for he at least believes in himself.”
“Worse, far worse!”
“But at least, dear young lady,” he went on piteously, “believe me
that I have the grace to abhor myself. It is not much, it is very, very
little, but it is something. Do not wholly condemn me!”
“Condemn? Oh, I am sorry for you with my whole heart. Only, why must you
tell me all this? No, no; you are not to blame. I made you speak; I made
you put yourself to shame.”
“Not that, dearest madamigella. I would unsay nothing now, if I could,
unless to take away the pain I have given you. It has been more a relief
than a shame to have all this known to you; and even if you should
despise me”--
“I don’t despise you; that isn’t for me; but oh, I wish that I could
help you!”
Don Ippolito shook his head. “You cannot help me; but I thank you for
your compassion; I shall never forget it.” He lingered irresolutely with
his hat in his hand. “Shall we go on with the reading, madamigella?”
“No, we will not read any more to-day,” she answered.
“Then I relieve you of the disturbance, madamigella,” he said; and after
a moment’s hesitation he bowed sadly and went.
She mechanically followed him to the door, with some little gestures
and movements of a desire to keep him from going, yet let him go, and so
turned back and sat down with her hands resting noiseless on the keys of
the piano.
XI.
The next morning Don Ippolito did not come, but in the afternoon the
postman brought a letter for Mrs. Vervain, couched in the priest’s
English, begging her indulgence until after the day of Corpus Christi,
up to which time, he said, he should be too occupied for his visits of
ordinary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account