The most amusing part of all this is that the American sketches which I introduced into my lecture last night, and which seemed to have struck the Albany _Express_ so agreeably, were all extracts from the book "filled with deliberate misstatements and willful exaggerations of the traits of the American people." Well, after all, there is humor, unconscious humor, in the Albany _Express_. * * * * * Arrived at the Grand Central Station in New York at noon, I gave up my check to a transfer man, but learned to my chagrin that the vestibule train from Albany had carried no baggage, and that my things would only arrive by the next train at about three o'clock. Pleasant news for a man who was due to address an audience at three! [Illustration: "A LITTLE BIT STIFF."] There was only one way out of the difficulty. Off I went post-haste to a ready-made tailor's, who sold me a complete fit-out from head to foot. I did not examine the cut and fit of each garment very minutely, but went off satisfied that I was presenting a neat and respectable appearance. Before going on the stage, however, I discovered that the sleeves of the new coat, though perfectly smooth and well-behaved so long as the arms inside them were bent at the elbow, developed a remarkable cross-twist as soon as I let my arms hang straight down. By means of holding it firm with the middle finger, I managed to keep the recalcitrant sleeve in position, and the affair passed off very well. Only my friends remarked, after the lecture, that they thought I looked a little bit stiff, especially when making my bow to the audience. * * * * * My lecture at Daly's Theater this afternoon was given under the auspices of the Bethlehem Day Nursery, and I am thankful to think that this most interesting association is a little richer to-day than it was yesterday. For an afternoon audience it was remarkably warm and responsive. I have many times lectured to afternoon audiences, but have not, as a rule, enjoyed it. Afternoon "shows" are a mistake. Do not ask me why; but think of those you have ever been to, and see if you have a lively recollection of them. There is a time for everything. Fancy playing the guitar under your lady love's window by daylight, for instance!