"'I said it was true; that I love Giordano, and have accepted his love,'
she answered. Still I did not fully grasp her meaning.
"'But, Teresina, I thought that you loved me; have you lied to me then?'
I exclaimed.
"'No, I have not lied,' she answered me. 'I have never lied to you,' and
she took my hand in her strong little hand, and led me like one blind
or intoxicated to the projecting root of a tree close by, and there sat
down by my side.
"'Listen,' she said, still holding my hand in hers, 'I ought to have
told you what I have to say before now. I only hesitated because I
knew it would cause you acute suffering at first ... until you could
understand. Believe me, I do love you as much as ever I did, and I could
not bear even the thought of living without you. I love Giordano too,
in a different way it is true, but still I love him. He has not got
your mind or your heart, or your wonderful knowledge' (she was a very
ignorant girl, so far as learning was concerned, and my small knowledge
of books appeared to her little short of miraculous, poor child!), 'but
then he has some qualities you do not possess. Well, I love him for
these, and I enjoy being with him in a quite different way from what I
experience with you.'
"I was silent, and she continued after a short pause:--
"'Nothing is more brutish or more selfish than jealousy, my friend. If I
thought another woman could give you a moment's happiness, I should
say: "Take it, enjoy it!" We do not grudge our friends every moment of
enjoyment not enjoyed in our company. We wish them other friendships and
other joys. What is there in the love between man and woman which should
make us so selfish and so unreasonable? For my part, I must have freedom
at all costs, absolutely at all costs. It is dearer to me than anything
else in life, and I had sooner sacrifice even love and happiness;
indeed, I cannot love or be happy without it. For God's sake grant me
this liberty as I grant it to you! Take my love as I can give it to you,
but do not ask me to be your slave on its account! Be sure you have my
heart, and little of it remains to be squandered in other directions.
What does the rest matter? I do not grudge you your loves, your
pleasures, your caprices! Do not grudge me mine. Life is necessarily
full of sorrows; do not let us embitter it unnecessarily.'
"She ceased speaking. She had risen to her feet and stood in front of
me as she spoke, then as she finished she sank down on her knees by my
side.
"'Do you understand?' she asked me. 'Can you love me on these terms?
liberty--absolute liberty for us both?'
"I answered 'Yes,' nor did I ever regret the answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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