"You are right," he answered, making an effort to control himself; "I
must explain the matter or you cannot understand.... I will talk to you
frankly, for you at any rate are above suspicion. You may perhaps be
aware that I have been connected with many serious Anarchist ventures
in the past. The explosions at St. ----, the affair in V---- three years
ago, the sacking of the bank in Barcelona. All of these were, of course,
very dangerous matters, in which I risked my life; but it all tended
towards the destruction of society, and I readily took the risk. As far
as possible I avoided taking other comrades into my confidence--partly
out of regard for my own safety, partly with a view to theirs. To one or
two well-trusted men, however, I confided my projects, so that in case
of my arrest all proper measures might be taken." (Gnecco was one of
these "trusted comrades," B---- and Morì were others.) "I was mistaken
in my estimate of these men, mistaken in my confidence in them. From
their lips my secret has been wormed or bought by others, until now it
has become a byword, and every indiscreet fool and paid spy in our midst
knows the tale of my past better than I do myself. I no longer
dare attend our meetings, for all around me I hear whisperings and
insinuations, and my name being passed from one mouth to another along
with references to my past actions. The torture is becoming unendurable.
Some of these cowards even descend to taunting me with their knowledge;
and when I, in any way, cross their purposes in our discussions, they
threaten me covertly with exposure. That disgusting young fool, Morì,
only to-day, being jealous of me in some trivial matter, tried to
intimidate me by hinting at the V---- affair. I felt that I could have
struck him down where he stood; and then a sense of my own impotence
overtook me, and I stood there, silent and confused, trying to laugh
the matter off, as though I had not grasped his meaning. But I can stand
this state of things no longer: it is driving me mad. When I am alone
now I suddenly start with the feeling that some one is coming on me
unawares. This afternoon, wishing to be alone and to think matters over,
I took a walk about the Park, but the very trees seemed to be whispering
about me, and before long I perceived that I was followed, that my
movements were being dogged step by step. When I am alone in my room
they do not even leave me in peace. They obtain entrance here by means
of that Wattles woman, who is evidently in their pay. B---- cannot
forgive me for not having appropriated to our private use the money
expropriated in Barcelona for the propaganda; and this indeed is one
of their principal grievances against me. Would you believe it, Isabel,
last night he actually got into this house and woke me from sleep by
shouting the name of the bank through that hole? When I rushed down to
find him, determined to teach him a sound lesson, he was gone. But what
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