being half-drunk she fell in the passage, and it was that which saved
me.... I found Giannoli in Trafalgar Square."
The remainder of the night they had spent peacefully enough, wandering
about the streets, occasionally being "moved on" by a policeman, until
the sceptical officer already referred to had evinced an intention of
arresting them both as rogues and vagabonds. I could not help smiling
at the peremptory manner in which poor Giannoli's adventures had almost
been brought to a conclusion.
I gave Giannoli the proceeds of the previous night's pawnings, and I and
Kosinski turned out on the table what money we had about us. It was
just sufficient to cover the expenses of the first stage of Giannoli's
journey.
We proceeded--a quaint procession--to the station. Kosinski led the way
with head bent forward and even resolute tread, apparently untired and
unaffected by his night's vicissitudes, with the much battered box
on his shoulders. Behind him followed Giannoli and myself, the former
nervous and unstrung, constantly turning from right to left with the
idea that we were being followed. In the station, half deserted this
Sunday morning, we had another long wait. We talked of many things
together, and I had never found Kosinski so friendly and communicative
before. There existed between Giannoli and himself the keen sympathy and
understanding of two men equally devoted to an idea, equally willing to
sacrifice everything to it. The Russian was more of a philosopher than
the Italian, more engrossed in abstractions, more oblivious of his own
personality, and this it was that had saved him from the possibility of
Giannoli's terrible malady. At the same time he was by no means inclined
to make light of Giannoli's fears, and together they talked them over,
Kosinski promising to investigate them after his friend's departure, and
to see if it was possible to discover who was really at fault.
"No man can ever hold such threats over me," said Kosinski, "for I have
never taken any one into my confidence. I have always acted alone. Some
day it may fall to my lot to pay with my life for some action on
behalf of our ideas. When that moment comes I shall be ready for the
sacrifice."
"I too," exclaimed Giannoli with fervour--"I too would not hesitate
to make the sacrifice if I felt the right moment had arrived. If
to-morrow--if at this very moment--I saw the means of advancing the
Anarchist cause by the sacrifice of my life, I would give it without
regret or hesitation. But to lose it for no purpose, before I have
finished my work, to fall a victim to the envy and treachery of my own
comrades, and to involve others in my own ruin, I cannot bear. When my
time comes to die I wish to feel that my death is at any rate of some
use. There are moments when an Anarchist can help his ideas on better by
dying than by living. But for me the moment is not yet quite ripe."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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