He and his wife were
living in a filthy garret in the Bowery; he had nothing to do, and had
retired permanently on to a rotten old paillasse which lay in a corner;
his clothes were in pawn; he could not go out. Eudoxia earned a few
cents daily by slaving at the wash-tub, and most of this he spent in
getting drunk on vile, cheap spirits. When he saw me arrive he railed at
me as the cause of all his woes; blamed me for having dragged him on to
actions he should never have done if left to himself; and pointing to
his wife and to the squalid room, he exclaimed, 'See the results
of struggling for a higher life.' Eudoxia, for her part, hated me,
declaring that I was responsible for her husband's ruin, and that, not
content with making his life a hell on earth, I was consigning his soul
to eternal perdition. Then Vassili would burst into maudlin tears and
weep over his own degeneracy, saying that I was his only true friend.
I grieved at the decay of a fine mind; there was no hope now for him; I
could only wish that his body might soon too dissolve. I gave him what
little help I could, and he soon drank himself to death. I was with him
at the last. He seemed overcome by a great wave of pity for himself,
spoke tearfully of the might-have-beens, blamed me for having urged him
to deeds beyond his strength, and ended by exclaiming that he could
not even die in peace, as he did not know what would become of his poor
wife, whose strength was already rapidly failing. 'I am leaving her
friendless and penniless. I dragged her away from a comfortable home,
promising her happiness. She has had to sacrifice her only child to my
safety, and now, prematurely old, soured by misfortune and illness, I
am abandoning her to fight for herself. She is my victim and yours, the
victim of our ideas; it is your duty to look after her.' I promised him
so to do, and she has been with me ever since."
I had walked on, absorbed in the interest of his tale, heedless of
the distance we were covering, and now I noticed that we were already
skirting Hyde Park, and reflected that our destination must still be far
ahead.
"As your friend is so ill had we not better take the 'bus? You said we
were going to Hammersmith, and there is still quite a long walk ahead of
us," I suggested after a few minutes.
"Oh, are you tired?" he inquired; "I ought to have thought of it. I
always walk." I noticed that his hand strayed into the obviously empty
pocket of his inseparable blue overcoat, and a worried look came into
his face. I at once realised that he had not a penny on him, and deeply
regretted my remark. Not for worlds would I have suggested to him paying
the fares myself, which I should have thought nothing of doing with most
of the others.
"Oh, it was not for me," I hastened to rejoin, "I am not in the least
tired; I only thought it would be quicker, but after all we must now be
near," and I brisked up my pace, though I felt, I confess, more than a
little fagged.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account