Girton College (University of Cambridge) -- Fiction; Women college students -- Fiction
She scrutinised the moulding of her temples, the lines of her perfectly
cut head. In outward proportion she thought there was not much amiss.
It must be the quality of the brain that was poor. There must be
an inherited peasant slowness, a bluntness of perception or wit,
_something_ which disabled her from holding her own against the taught
graces, the pliant, inexhaustible lightness of such an one as Linda
Thorne. She might, if lowlier duties had fallen to her, have been
clever enough to manage a house, to look after her husband’s interests,
to bring up children. Amongst ladies and gentlemen--oh, the bitterness
with which she uttered the titles of gentility half aloud--amongst
ladies and gentlemen she had no place, no chance.
And in her nature, not thoroughly sounded as yet, but of whose depths
the last few days had vaguely informed her--in her innermost nature
were evil things that a constant pressure of temptation might bring to
the surface. She was not like Geoffrey. No ministering to others could
fill her life, at any rate not while she was young, while the cry for
love had the double keenness of a physical and of a moral want. If
she continued a hanger-on of the world that Gaston loved,--‘some one
who must be asked, don’t you know, occasionally, on sufferance,’--she
would, one day, meet with homage, differently offered, and from a
different man to Rex Basire. Was she sure that gratitude would not be
awakened in her, then vanity? Was she sure she might not decline, step
by step, to the condition of that most pitiable among women--a wife,
true to the cold letter of her fealty, who has at once outlived her
husband’s affection and the stings of her own self-contempt?
Dinah started, guiltily, as the sharp clang of the dinner-bell
roused her into final action. It took a good many minutes before
she could recover sufficiently to face the ordeal that lay before
her. At last, arming herself by the reflection that henceforth all
life’s common actions must be gone through alone, and under a certain
cloud of suspicion, she made her way to the dining-room. After a
moment’s trembling heartsickness, she pushed back one of the double
doors--entered.
A hush, an involuntary suspension of knife and fork greeted her. The
light through a western window fell full upon her golden head. The
whiteness of her throat and hands was thrown into brilliant relief by
the sombre dress she wore.
‘A saint of Holman Hunt’s--Early manner,’ thought a high-church curate,
away on his four weeks’ holiday, and who never would know more of
Dinah than the large sad eyes, the lips’ carnation, the nimbus of
sunlight-coloured hair.
‘Can the complexion be absolutely real?’ floated through the brain of
more than one duly aged and authorised feminine critic.
Miller, with his professional little run and smile, came forward. He
ushered Dinah Arbuthnot to her place.
‘Mr. Gaston Arbuthnot not expected, I believe?’ asked the host, as
Dinah prepared to take her seat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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