Humorous stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
As we rode swiftly along, the slight, girlish figure of a middle-aged
woman might have been seen striving hurriedly to cross the driveway. She
screamed and beckoned to a park policeman, who rushed leisurely in and
caught her by the arm, rescuing her from the cruel feet of our mad
chargers, and then led her to a seat. As we paused to ask the policeman
if the lady had been injured, he came up to the side of the carriage and
whispered to me behind his hand: "That woman I have rescued between
thirty and forty times this year, and it is only the first of July.
Every pleasant day she comes here to be rescued. One day, when business
was a little dull and we didn't have any teams on the drive, and time
seemed to hang heavy on her hands, she told me her sad history. Before
she was eighteen years of age she had been disappointed in love and
prevented from marrying her heart's choice, owing to the fact that the
idea of the union did not occur to him. He was not, in fact, a union
man. Time passed on, from time to time, glad spring, and bobolinks, and
light underwear succeeded stern winter, frost, and heavy flannels, and
yet he cometh not, she sayed. No one had ever caught her in his great
strong arms in a quick embrace that seemed to scrunch her whole being.
Summer came and went. The dews on the upland succeeded the frost on the
pumpkin. The grand ratification of the partridge ushered in the wail of
the turtle dove and the brief plunk of the muskrat in the gloaming. And
yet no man had ever dast to come right out and pay attention to her or
keep company with her. She had an emotional nature that just seemed to
get up on its hind feet and pant for recognition and love. She could
have almost loved a well-to-do man who had, perhaps, sinned a few times,
but even the tough and erring went elsewhere to repent. One day she came
to town to do some trading. She had priced seven dollars and fifty
cents' worth of goods, and was just crossing Broadway to price some
more, when the gay equipage of a wealthy humorist, with silver chains on
the neck-yoke and foam-flecks acrost the bosom of the nigh
hoss, came plunging down the street.
"The red nostrils of the spirited brutes were above her. Their hot
breath scorched the back of her neck and swayed the red-flannel
pompon on her bonnet. Every one on Broadway held his
breath, with the exception of a man on the front stoop of the Castor
House, whose breath had got beyond his control. Every one was horrified
and turned away with a shudder, which rattled the telegraph wires for
two blocks.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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