British -- Norway -- Fiction; Conduct of life -- Fiction; Norwegians -- England -- Fiction
With a word of explanation to her partner she hastily crossed over to
the piano. But when she met Frithiof’s eyes her heart began to beat
painfully, and once more the feeling of fear returned to her. He looked
very grave, very sad, very determined. The greeting which she had
intended to speak died away on her lips; instead, she said, rather
falteringly:
“Will you tell me the name of the last waltz?”
He bowed, and began to turn over the pile of music to find the piece.
“Frithiof,” she whispered, “have you forgotten me? Have you nothing to
say to me?”
But he made as though he did not hear her, gravely handed her the music,
then, turning away, took up his violin and signed to Sigrid to begin the
next dance.
Poor Blanche was eagerly claimed by her next partner, and with burning
cheeks and eyes bright with unshed tears, was whirled off though her
feet seemed weighted and almost refused to keep time with that violin
whose tones seemed to tear her heart. “I have no longer any power over
him,” she thought. “I have so shocked and disgusted him that he will not
even recognize me—will not answer me when I speak to him! How much
nobler he is than these little toads with whom I have to dance, these
wretches who flatter me, yet all the time despise me in their hearts!
Oh, what a fool I have been to throw away a heart like that, to be
dazzled by a mere name, and, worst of all, to lose not only his love but
his respect! I shall see his face in a moment as we go past that corner.
There he is! How sad and stern he looks, and how resolutely he goes on
playing! I shall hate this tune all my life long. I have nothing left
but the power to give him pain—I who long to help him, who am tortured
by this regret!”
All this time she was answering the foolish words of her partner at
random. And the evening wore on, and she laughed mechanically and talked
by rote, and danced, oh, how wearily! thinking often of a description of
the Inferno she had lately seen in one of the magazines, in which the
people were obliged to go on pretending to amuse themselves, and
dancing, as she now danced, when they only longed to lie down and die.
“But, after all, I can stop,” she reflected. “I am not in the Inferno
yet—at least I suppose not, though I doubt if it can be much worse than
this. How pretty and innocent that little fair-haired girl looks—white
net and lilies of the valley; I should think it must be her first dance.
Will she ever grow like me, I wonder? Perhaps some one will say to her,
‘That is the celebrated Lady Romiaux.’ Perhaps she will read the
newspapers when the case comes on, as it must come soon. They may do her
terrible harm. Oh, if only I could undo the past! I never thought of all
this at the time. I never thought till now of any one but myself.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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