British -- Norway -- Fiction; Conduct of life -- Fiction; Norwegians -- England -- Fiction
“Sigrid,” said the little girl, as they walked home together, “is it
true what you said to Madame Lechertier about Frithiof feeling the heat?
Is it really that which has made him so grave the last few days?”
“It is partly that,” replied Sigrid. “But he has a good deal to trouble
him that you are too young to understand, things that will not bear
talking about. You must try to make it bright and cheerful at home.”
Swanhild sighed. It was not so easy to be bright and cheerful all by
one’s self, and of late Frithiof and Sigrid had been—as she expressed it
in the quaint Norse idiom—silent as lighted candles. People talk a great
deal about the happy freedom from care which children can enjoy, but as
a matter of fact many a child feels the exact state of the home
atmosphere, and puzzles its head over the unknown troubles which are
grieving the elders, often magnifying trifles into most alarming and
menacing sources of danger. But Frithiof never guessed either little
Swanhild’s perplexities, or Sigrid’s trouble; when he returned all
seemed to him natural and homelike; and perhaps it was as much with the
desire to be still with them as from any recollection of Donati’s words,
that on the following Sunday he set off with them to the service held
during the summer evenings at Westminster Abbey.
What impression the beautiful service made on him Sigrid could not tell,
but the sermon was unluckily the very last he ought to have heard. The
learned Oxford professor who preached to the great throng of people that
night could have understood very little how his words would affect many
of his hearers; he preached as a pessimist, he drew a miserable picture
of the iniquity and injustice of the world, all things were going wrong,
the times were out of joint, but he suggested no remedy, he did not even
indicate that there was another side to the picture. The congregation
dispersed. In profound depression, Frithiof walked down the nave, and
passed out into the cool evening air. Miserable as life had seemed to
him before, it now seemed doubly miserable, it was all a great wretched
problem to which there was no solution, a purposeless whirl of buying
and selling, a selfish struggle for existence. They walked past the
Aquarium, the dingy side streets looked unlovely enough on that summer
night, and the dreary words he had heard haunted him persistently,
harmonizing only too well with the _cui bono_ that at all times was apt
to suggest itself to his mind. A wretched, clouded life in a miserable
world, misfortunes which he had never deserved eternally dogging his
steps, his own case merely one of a million similar or worse cases.
Where was the use of it all?
A voice close beside him made him start. They were passing a corner
where two streets crossed each other, and the words that fell upon his
ear, spoken with a strange fervor yet with deep reverence, were just
these:
“Jesus, blessed Jesus!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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