There were tears in the man's eyes as he listened to her. She was
pressing his hand kindly between hers, but there was a weary
wistfulness in the gaze of Ida which bewildered him, and he thought
how unlike was this sad love-making to that of the past time.
'Poor Jerry!' she resumed, after a long pause, 'I don't think I shall
live very long; a little time, I fear, and I shall only be a dream to
you, but a dream full of disappointment and pain.'
'Do not say so, Ida--my own beloved Ida!' he exclaimed, as the last
vestige of mistrust in her was forgotten, and sorrow, love, and
perplexity took its place. 'Ida,' he continued, in a voice that was
touching, passionate, and appealing, 'young, beautiful, and rich, you
shall yet be well and strong; your own gay spirit will return with
the renewed health which we shall find you in another and a sunnier
land than ours. Oh, for the love I bear you, darling, do thrust
aside these thoughts of gloom and death!'
But she answered him slowly and deliberately, in a voice that was
without tremor, though her eyes were full of melancholy, and with
something of love, too, but not earthly loving, for that passion had
long since departed.
'The thoughts of gloom come over me unsought, and will not be thrust
aside; and to dread or avoid death is folly, and to fear it is also
folly; for that which is so universal must be for our general good;
hence, to fear that which we cannot understand, and is for our good,
is greater folly. Moreover, it puts an end to all earthly suffering
and to all earthly sorrow. But leave me, dear Jerry, now; I am
weary--_so_ weary.'
Then Vane, with his eyes full of tears, pressed his lips to her pale
forehead as she sank back in her chair and closed her eyes as if to
court sleep; and he left her slowly and reluctantly, and with a heart
torn by many emotions, and not the least of these was the aching and
clamorous sense of a coming calamity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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