Jane's lips quivered in bitterest sorrow. "He paid dearly enough for
it," she said; "he had to buy it with his life-blood. If I had not been
near him in that hour he might have come back healthy and merry with
the others; my rescue was his destruction. I bring only sorrow to all
that love me; I had to give death to my brother; I had to make Henry
wretched--keep far from me, Professor Fernow, I can give you no
happiness!"
With a convulsive movement she stepped to the edge of the balustrade,
and with averted face gazed out into the distance. Frederic's death
still threw its shadow over her life; the shadow would not lift, she
could not overcome her remorseful sorrow. Something of the old hardness
and bitterness again lay upon her features, and the anguish which
thrilled through them and would scarce yield to control, only too well
betrayed how serious she had been in those gloomy words before which at
this moment, all hope, every dream of the future, sank into
nothingness.
"Johanna!"
It was again that tone which once before in S. had wrought so mightily
upon her heart, lifting it above all sorrow and all conflict; it
compelled her now to turn round, to glance up to him; and when she met
his eyes, hardness and bitterness could no longer hold their ground
before these blue depths which once more spoke to her in that language
of dreamy tenderness now as then holding her spell-bound.
"You have also caused me sorrow, Johanna, fearful sorrow; it was upon
that autumn night when I implored you to make yourself free, and was
ready the dare the utmost to win you. At that time, you flung back at
me, this hard, 'Never! Even if Alison should release me and every other
barrier should fall, NEVER, Walter!' Those words have ever since stood
threateningly between us both; they have intimidated me up to this
moment. Will you now at last, solve for me the riddle?"
Jane bowed her head. For some moments she was silent, then she said in
a hollow voice: "I had found a clue to my brother, I knew that he had
been reared by pastor Hartwig, and I heard the name from your lips as
that of your foster-father."
"For God's sake, you did not believe--?"
"Yes! Do not chide me, Walter, that I deemed it possible. I suffered
fearfully from that possibility, I almost died from that unhappy
error."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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