“It’s the voice of nature,” cried Miss Bethune quickly, an eager flush
covering her face. “Don’t you know, don’t you feel, that there is nobody
but me you could come to?--that you are sure of me whoever fails
you--that there’s a sympathy, and more than a sympathy? Oh, my boy, I
will be to you all, and more than all!”
She was so overcome with her own emotion that she could not get out
another word.
A flush came also upon Harry Gordon’s pale face, a look abashed and full
of wonder. He felt that this lady, whom he liked and respected, went so
much too far, so much farther than there was any justification for
doing. He was troubled instinctively for her, that she should be so
impulsive, so strangely affected. He shook his head. “Don’t think me
ungrateful,” he cried. “Indeed, I don’t know if you mean all that your
words seem to mean--as how should you indeed, and I only a stranger to
you? But, dear Miss Bethune, that can never be again. It is bad enough,
as I find out, to have had no real tie to her, my dear lady that’s
gone--and to feel that everybody must think my grief for my poor aunt is
partly disappointment because she has not provided for me. But no such
link could be forged again. I was a child when that was made. It was
natural; they settled things for me as they pleased, and I knew nothing
but that I was very happy there, and loved them, and they me. But now I
am a man, and must stand for myself. Don’t think me ungracious. It’s
impossible but that a man with full use of his limbs must be able to
earn his bread. It’s only going back to South America, if the worst
comes to the worst, where everybody knows me,” he said.
Miss Bethune’s countenance had been like a drama while young Gordon made
this long speech, most of which was uttered with little breaks and
pauses, without looking at her, in the same attitude, with his eyes on
the ground. Yet he looked up once or twice with that flitting sad smile,
and an air of begging pardon for anything he said which might wound her.
Trouble, and almost shame, and swift contradiction, and anger, and
sympathy, and tender pity, and a kind of admiration, all went over her
face in waves. She was wounded by what he said, and disappointed, and
yet approved. Could there be all these things in the hard lines of a
middle-aged face? And yet there were all, and more. She recovered
herself quickly as he came to an end, and with her usual voice
replied:--
“We must not be so hasty to begin with. It is more than likely that the
poor lady has made the position clear in her will. We must not jump to
the conclusion that things are not explained in that and set right; it
would be a slur upon her memory even to think that it would not be so.”
“There must be no slur on her memory,” said young Gordon quickly; “but I
am almost sure that it will not be so. She told me repeatedly that I
was not to blame her--as if it were likely I should blame her!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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