“And who asked ye to see it, or thought ye could see it, a
serving-woman, not a drop’s blood to him or to me? It would be a bonnie
thing,” said Miss Bethune, pausing, looking round, as if to appeal to an
unseen audience, with an almost smile of scorn, “if my hired woman’s
word was to be taken instead of his mother’s. Did she bear him in pain
and anguish? Did she wait for him, lying dreaming, month after month,
that he was to cure all? She got him in her arms when he was born, but
he had been in mine for long before; he had grown a man in my heart
before ever he saw the light of day. Oh, ask her, and there is many a
fable she will tell ye. But me!"--she calmed down again, a smile came
upon her face,--“I have seen my son. Now, as I have nobody but him, he
has nobody but me: and I mean from this day to take him home and
acknowledge him before all the world.”
Mr. Templar had risen, and stood with his hand on the back of his chair.
“I have nothing more to say,” he said. “If I can be of any use to you in
any way, command me, madam. It is no wish of mine to take any comfort
from you, or even to dispel any pleasing illusion.”
“As if you could!” she said, rising again, proud and smiling. “As if any
old lawyer’s words, as dry as dust, could shake my conviction, or
persuade me out of what is a certainty. It is a certainty. Seeing is
believing, the very vulgar say. And I have seen him--do you think you
could make me believe after that, that there is no one to see?”
He shook his head and turned away. “Good-morning to you, ma’am,” he
said. “I have told you the truth, but I cannot make you believe it, and
why should I try? It may be happier for you the other way.”
“Happier?” she said, with a laugh. “Ay, because it’s true. Falsehood has
been my fate too long--I am happy because it is true.”
Miss Bethune sat down again, when her visitor closed the door behind
him. The triumph and brightness gradually died out of her face. “What
are you greetin’ there for, you fool?” she said, “and me the happiest
woman, and the proudest mother! Gilchrist,” she said, suddenly turning
round upon her maid, “the woman that is dead was a weak creature, bound
hand and foot all her life. She meant no harm, poor thing, I will allow,
but yet she broke one man’s life in pieces, and it must have been a poor
kind of happiness she gave the other, with her heart always straying
after another man’s bairn. And I’ve done nothing, nothing to injure any
mortal. I was true till I could be true no longer, till he showed all he
was; and true I have been in spite of that all my life, and endured and
never said a word. Do you think it’s possible, possible that yon woman
should be rewarded with her child in her arms, and her soul
satisfied?--and me left desolate, with my very imaginations torn from
me, torn out of me, and my heart left bleeding, and all my thoughts
turned into lies, like myself, that have been no better than a
lie?--turned into lies?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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