The young people listened to Lavretsky with polite but rather ironical
respect--as though a teacher were giving them a lesson--and suddenly
they all dispersed, and ran to the lawn; four stood near trees, one in
the middle, and the game began.
And Lavretsky went back into the house, went into the dining-room, drew
near the piano and touched one of the keys; it gave out a faint but
clear sound; on that note had begun the inspired melody with which long
ago on that same happy night Lemm, the dead Lemm, had thrown him into
such transports. Then Lavretsky went into the drawing-room, and for a
long time he did not leave it; in that room where he had so often seen
Lisa, her image rose most vividly before him; he seemed to feel the
traces of her presence round him; but his grief for her was crushing,
not easy to bear; it had none of the peace which comes with death. Lisa
still lived somewhere, hidden and afar; he thought of her as of the
living, but he did not recognize the girl he had once loved in that dim
pale shadow, cloaked in a nun’s dress and encircled in misty clouds
of incense. Lavretsky would not have recognized himself, could he have
looked at himself, as mentally he looked at Lisa. In the course of these
eight years he had passed that turning-point in life, which many never
pass, but without which no one can be a good man to the end; he had
really ceased to think of his own happiness, of his personal aims. He
had grown calm, and--why hide the truth?--he had grown old not only in
face and in body, he had grown old in heart; to keep a young heart up to
old age, as some say, is not only difficult, but almost ridiculous;
he may well be content who has not lost his belief in goodness, his
steadfast will, and his zeal for work. Lavretsky had good reason to
be content; he had become actually an excellent farmer, he had really
learnt to cultivate the land, and his labours were not only for himself;
he had, to the best of his powers, secured on a firm basis the welfare
of his peasants.
Lavretsky went out of the house into the garden, and sat down on the
familiar garden seat. And on this loved spot, facing the house where for
the last time he had vainly stretched out his hand for the enchanted
cup which frothed and sparkled with the golden wine of delight, he, a
solitary homeless wanderer, looked back upon his life, while the joyous
shouts of the younger generation who were already filling his place
floated across the garden to him. His heart was sad, but not weighed
down, nor bitter; much there was to regret, nothing to be ashamed of.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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