“Listen, madam,” he began at last, breathing with difficulty and at
moments setting his teeth: “it is useless for us to make pretense with
one another; I don’t believe in your penitence; and even if it were
sincere, to be with you again, to live with you, would be impossible for
me.”
Varvara Pavlovna bit her lips and half-closed her eyes. “It is
aversion,” she thought; “all is over; in his eyes I am not even a
woman.”
“Impossible,” repeated Lavretsky, fastening the top buttons of his coat.
“I don’t know what induced you to come here; I suppose you have come to
the end of your money.”
“Ah! you hurt me!” whispered Varvara Pavlovna.
“However that may be--you are, any way, my wife, unhappily. I cannot
drive you away... and this is the proposal I make you. You may to-day,
if you like, set off to Lavriky, and live there; there is, as you know,
a good house there; you will have everything you need in addition to
your allowance... Do you agree?”--Varvara Pavlovna raised an embroidered
handkerchief to her face.
“I have told you already,” she said, her lips twitching nervously, “that
I will consent to whatever you think fit to do with me; at present it
only remains for me to beg of you--will you allow me at least to thank
you for your magnanimity?”
“No thanks, I beg--it is better without that,” Lavretsky said hurriedly.
“So then,” he pursued, approaching the door, “I may reckon on--”
“To-morrow I will be at Lavriky,” Varvara Pavlovna declared, rising
respectfully from her place. “But Fedor Ivanitch--” (She no longer
called him “Théodore.”)
“What do you want?”
“I know, I have not yet gained any right to forgiveness; may I hope at
least that with time--”
“Ah, Varvara Pavlovna,” Lavretsky broke in, “you are a clever woman,
but I too am not a fool; I know that you don’t want forgiveness in the
least. And I have forgiven you long ago; but there was always a great
gulf between us.”
“I know how to submit,” rejoined Varvara Pavlovna, bowing her head. “I
have not forgotten my sin; I should not have been surprised if I had
learnt that you even rejoiced at the news of my death,” she added
softly, slightly pointing with her hand to the copy of the journal which
was lying forgotten by Lavretsky on the table.
Fedor Ivanitch started; the paper had been marked in pencil. Varvara
Pavlovna gazed at him with still greater humility. She was superb at
that moment. Her grey Parisian gown clung gracefully round her supple,
almost girlish figure; her slender, soft neck, encircled by a white
collar, her bosom gently stirred by her even breathing, her hands
innocent of bracelets and rings--her whole figure, from her shining hair
to the tip of her just visible little shoe, was so artistic...
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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