England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Sisters -- Fiction; Young women -- Fiction
"That was good of you, though I do not know that I am repaying the
goodness properly," he said, with another smile, very wistful this time.
"For I must add, that hearing of it tempted me to wonder once again
whether you could ever learn to think of me? If you cannot, just say no,
and I'll cease from this moment to tease you" (as if he had been doing
nothing else save besiege and pester her for the last year and a half!).
Dora could not say "no" any more than she could say "yes" straight out,
though she was certain that to be kept any longer than was absolutely
necessary in a state of acute suspense was very bad for him in his
weakened health. By a great effort she brought herself to say in little
breaks and gasps, "I do not need to learn, Mr. Tom, because I have
thought of you for a long time now--long before you were so good and
generous to all of us--almost ever since you wished--you asked--what I
was so silly and so ungrateful as to refuse."
He drew her hand through his arm and held it tightly; he could not trust
himself to say or do more. He was almost as shy as she was in the
revulsion of his great happiness.
She struggled conscientiously to continue her confession. "I had thought
hardly at all of you before then. Girls are so full of themselves, and I
did not know that you wished me to think of you. I seem to see now that
if you had given me more time, and let me grow familiar with the idea,
even though we were 'donkeys,' as Annie and Rose say, and though we
were choke-full of youthful folly----" She stopped short without
finishing her sentence, or going farther into the nature of what she
seemed to see.
"But I besought you to take time, Dora, love," he remonstrated. "You
forget, I urged you to let me wait for the chance of your answer's being
different." He could not help, even in the hour of the attainment of the
dearest wish of his heart, being just to his old modest, reasonable
self.
"Yes," she said, with the prettiest, faintest, arch smile hovering about
the corners of her mouth. "But men ought to be wiser than to take simple
girls at their first word, which the girls can never, never unsay,
unless the men bid them. Now I'll tell you how malicious people will
view the present situation. They will say that I refused you point blank
when I thought we were well off, then got you to propose again, and
graciously accepted the proposal, when I knew we had not a penny in the
world. I own it looks very like it, and it is partly your fault; you
should not have let me go the first time. But I don't care what people
say, so long as there is not a word of truth in it."
"Nor I," said Tom undauntedly. "They may also say that I was able to
make myself useful to your family, and like a very tradesman, traded on
the usefulness, buying a reluctant bride with it. But what do we care
when we love each other, and God has given us to each other? 'They
say,'--what do they say? Let them say."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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