"I quite agree, darling," she said warmly. "After to-day we will never
mention the subject; but there are one or two things which must be said
first. To begin with, Ned has no suspicion of our mistake. I took care
of that; and it may help you to know that, after all, we were not so
very far from the truth. He spoke quite openly, and it seems that for
the first two or three years you were the attraction! He said he had
been sincerely attached to you, but that he saw you regarded him simply
as a friend. Then Lilias came home, with her more demonstrative ways;
he turned to her for comfort, and now,"--She stopped with a little
eloquent gesture, while Maud gave a groan of pain.
"Oh, mother, that is hard--to think that it came so near, and that I
spoiled my life by my own mistake! I suppose my very anxiety not to
show how much I cared made me seem stiff and constrained; but I never
meant him to take it in that way. It makes it worse than ever, and yet
I'm glad too. It's a comfort to feel it was not all imagination."
"I thought you would feel it so; that is why I told you. But you must
not talk of your life being spoiled, dear. These are early days, and I
hope there are many, many blessings which still remain open to you. It
is a great mistake to think that marriage is the only gate to happiness.
A single woman may have a most full and useful life."
"Yes, mother!" assented Maud dutifully. Poor Maud! her heart died down
within her as she spoke, and her thoughts flew away to old Mary Robins
in her lodging, and Miss Evans in her stuffy little cottage, and she
wondered if it were really, really possible that she--Maud Rendell--
could ever grow like them, and feel satisfied with the duties and
pleasures which constituted their lives! "Full and useful!" It sounded
estimable enough; but her young heart hungered for happiness also, and
at the moment that seemed lost for ever. The downcast face was so
pitiful that the tears came into Mrs Rendell's eyes as she watched it.
"Don't think of the future, dear," she said fondly. "Take each day as
it comes, and try to bear it bravely, and I'll help you in every way I
can. Ned will come down pretty often, for I must consider Lilias as
well as you, and we cannot consent to have a formal engagement until
they know each other more intimately than at present; but it will not be
so hard as you expect. You must be at home sometimes, for the last
thing we want to do is to arouse suspicion; but I will arrange that you
have as many changes as possible; and in any way that I can help I am at
your service, dear, if you will only let me know!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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