It would have been simple, if the hold-all had been a simple hold-all
and if it had been nothing more. But it was also a sleeping-bag and a
field-tent. As sleeping-bag, it was provided with a thick blanket which
took up most of the room inside, and a waterproof sheet which was part
of itself. As field-tent, it had large protruding flanges, shaped like
jib-sails, and a complicated system of ropes.
First of all I tucked in the jib-sails and ropes and laid them as flat
as might be on the bottom of the sleeping-bag, with the blanket on the
top of them. Then I packed the clothes on the top of the blanket and
turned it over them to make all snug; I buttoned up the waterproof sheet
over everything, rolled up the hold-all and secured it with its straps.
This was only done by much stratagem and strength, by desperate tugging
and pushing, and by lying flat on my waist on the rolled-up half to keep
it quiet while I brought the loose half over. No sooner had I secured
the hold-all by its straps than I realized that it was no more a
hold-all than it was a sleeping-bag and a field tent, and that its
contents were exposed to the weather down one side, where they bulged
through the spaces that yawned between the buttons, strained almost to
bursting.
I still believed in the genius that had devised this trinity. Clearly
the jib-sails which made it a field-tent were intended to serve also as
the pockets of the hold-all. I had done wrong to flatten them out and
tuck them in, frustrating the fulfilment of their function. It was not
acting fairly by the inventor.
I unpacked the hold-all, I mean the field-tent.
Then, with the Commandant's clothes again lying round me on the floor, I
grappled with the mystery of the jib-sails and their cords. The
jib-sails and their cords were, so to speak, the heart of this infernal
triple entity.
They were treacherous. They had all the appearance of pockets, but owing
to the intricate and malign relations of their cords, it was impossible
to deal faithfully with them on this footing. When the contents had been
packed inside them, the field-tent asserted itself as against the
hold-all and refused to roll up. And I am sure that if the field-tent
had had to be set up in a field in a hurry, the hold-all and the
sleeping-bag would have arisen and insisted on their consubstantial
rights.
I unpacked the field-tent and packed it all over again exactly as I had
packed it before, but more carefully, swearing gently and continuously,
as I tugged with my arms and pushed with my knees, and pressed hard on
it with my waist to keep it still. I cursed the day when I had first
heard of it; I cursed myself for giving it to the Commandant; more than
all I cursed the combined ingenuity and levity of its creator, who had
indulged his fantasy at our expense, without a thought to the actual
conditions of the retreat of armies and of ambulances.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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