And presently the wagon is turned round, slowly, almost solemnly, and
driven off into the darkness and the cold mist, with its load of weird
and piteous figures, wrapped in blankets like shawls. Their bandages
show blurred white spots in the mist, and they are gone.
It is horrible.
* * * * *
I am reminded that I have not packed yet, nor dressed for the journey. I
go over and pack and dress. I leave behind what I don't need and it
takes seven minutes. There is something sad and terrible about the
little hotel, and its proprietors and their daughter, who has waited on
me. They have so much the air of waiting, of being on the eve. They hang
about doing nothing. They sit mournfully in a corner of the
half-darkened restaurant. As I come and go they smile at me with the
patient Belgian smile that says, "_C'est triste, n'est-ce pas?_" and no
more.
The landlord puts on his soft brown felt hat and carries my luggage over
to the "Flandria." He stays there, hanging about the porch, fascinated
by these preparations for departure. There is the same terrible
half-darkness here, the same expectant stillness. Now and then the
servants of the hospital look at each other and there are whisperings,
mutterings. They sound sinister somehow and inimical. Or perhaps I
imagine this because I do not take kindly to retreating. Anyhow I am
only aware of them afterwards. For now it is time to go and fetch Miss
Ashley-Smith and her three wounded men from the Convent.
Tom has come up with his first ambulance car. He is waiting for orders
in the porch. His enormous motor goggles are pushed up over the peak of
his cap. They make it look like some formidable helmet. They give an air
of mastership to Tom's face. At this last hour it wears its expression
of righteous protest, of volcanic patience, of exasperated discipline.
The Commandant is nowhere to be seen. And every minute of his delay
increases Tom's sense of tortured integrity.
I tell Tom that he is to drive me at once to the Couvent de Saint
Pierre. He wants to know what for.
I tell him it is to fetch Miss Ashley-Smith and three British wounded.
He shrugs his shoulders. He knows nothing about the Couvent de Saint
Pierre and Miss Ashley-Smith and three British wounded, and his shrug
implies that he cares less.
And he says he has no orders to go and fetch them.
I perceive that in this supreme moment I am up against Tom's
superstition. He won't move anywhere without orders. It is his one means
of putting himself in the right and everybody else in the wrong.
And the worst of it is he _is_ right.
I am also up against Tom's sex prejudices. I remember that he is said to
have sworn with an oath that he wasn't going to take orders from any
woman.
And the Commandant is nowhere to be seen.
Tom sticks to the ledge of the porch and stares at me defiantly. The
servants of the Hospital come out and look at us. They are so many
reinforcements to Tom's position.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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