A journey to the world under-groundHolberg, Ludvig
Science
A journey to the world under-ground
Holberg, Ludvig
Utopias -- Early works to 1800; Voyages, Imaginary -- Early works to 1800
Having gain’d the Top of another very steep and rocky Mountain, I now
enter’d the Province of _Mutak_, the Capital of which look’d like a
Grove of Willows, the Inhabitants being all of that Species. Proceeding
to the Market, I there found a robust, healthy young Man, sitting in a
_Place of Ease_ (of which there are many round the Market-Place) and
imploring the Mercy of the Senate. I enquir’d the Meaning of this,
and was informed, that the said Person was a Criminal, to whom they
were going to give the fifteenth Dose. Surpriz’d at the Answer, I
step’d aside, and desir’d my Host to explain this Riddle. He reply’d
thus: “Most Nations punish Crimes by whipping, branding, hanging
and the like: But nothing of that Kind obtains in this Country. For
we study not so much to punish Crimes, as to mend the Criminal. The
Culprit upon the Seat is a wretched Author, who for his violent Itch
of Writing, which neither Law nor Advice could restrain, has been
condemn’d by the Senate to the publick Punishment. This is left to the
_Censors_ of the City, who are all Doctors of Physick, and who are now
going to macerate and bring him low by frequent Purgings, till they
have conquer’d and extinguish’d the Lust of Scribbling.” He ended his
Discourse with desiring me to go to the Shop of a publick Apothecary.
I went with him accordingly, and to my vast Amazement beheld Phials
and Gallipots all properly arrang’d, with such Inscriptions as these:
_Powder of Avarice._ _Pills for Lust._ _Tincture against Cruelty._
_Lenitive of Ambition._ _Cortex against Pleasure_, &c. Words cannot
express the strange Confusion of Mind this odd Spectacle threw me
into. But a perfect Ecstasy of Surprize ensued, when I observed a
Parcel of Manuscripts with these Titles: _Sermons of Master_ Pisagus,
_a Morning’s Perusal of which gives six Stools_. _Meditations of Dr._
Jukes, _a Specific in the_ Coma Vigil, _or Want of Sleep_, &c. I
thought the People out of their Senses, and to examine more accurately
the Virtue of their Medicines, I open’d the first of these Books.
It was such insipid Stuff, that at the first Chapter I began to make
Faces; and reading on, I found my Bowels rumble, and soon after had a
_Tenesmus_. But as I knew I had no Occasion for Purging, I threw the
Book down, and run away. I then observ’d, that nothing in the whole
World was without its Use, and that the most pitiful Performances were
serviceable for something. I found also, that this People were no
Fools, however absurd I at first took them to be. My Host averr’d to
me, that he was cur’d of lying awake from only perusing Doctor _Juke_’s
Book, the Virtue of which was so profound and potent, that Vigilance
itself must snore at it. These Things occasion’d in me a tumultuous
Variety of Thought. And lest they should break in upon that Chain of
philosophical Reflexions I had heretofore made, I resolv’d soon to
leave the Country. And happily enough, the strange Things I soon saw
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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