A Knight of the Nineteenth CenturyRoe, Edward Payson
General
A Knight of the Nineteenth Century
Roe, Edward Payson
Fiction
"God knows I wanted to recover what I had lost," he continued in the
same rapid tone. "God knows I left this cell weeks since with the honest
purpose of working my way up to a position that would entitle me to your
respect, and change my mother's shame into pride. But I found a mad-dog
cry raised against me. And this professedly Christian town has fairly
hunted me back to this prison."
Mrs. Arnot sighed deeply, but after a moment said, "I do not excuse the
Christian town, neither can I excuse you."
"You too, then, blame me, and side against me."
"No, Egbert, I side with you, and yet I blame you deeply; but I pity you
more."
He rose, and paced the cell with his old, restless steps. "It's no use,"
he said; "the world says, 'Go to the devil,' and gives me no chance to
do otherwise."
"Do you regard the world--whatever you may mean by the phrase--as your
friend?"
"Friend!" he repeated, with bitter emphasis.
"Why, then, do you take its advice? I did not come here to tell you to
go to perdition."
"But if the world sets its face against me like a flint, what is there
for me to do but to remain in prison or hide in a desert, unless I do
what I had purposed, defy it and strike back, though it be only as a
worm that tries to sting the foot that crushes it."
"Egbert, if you should die, the world would forget that you had ever
existed, in a few days."
"Certainly. It would give me merely a passing thought as of a nuisance
that had been abated."
"Well, then, would it not be wise to forget the world for a little
while? You are shut away from it for the present, and it cannot molest
you. In the meantime you can settle some very important personal
questions. The world has power over your fate only as you give it power.
You need not lie like a helpless worm in its path, waiting to be
crushed. Get up like a man, and take care of yourself. The world may let
you starve, but it cannot prevent you from becoming good and true and
manly; if you do become so, however, rest assured the world will
eventually find a place for you, and, perhaps, an honored place. But be
that as it may, a good Christian man is sustained by something far more
substantial than the world's breath."
Out of respect for Mrs. Arnot, Haldane was silent. He supposed that her
proposed remedy for his desperate troubles was that he should "become a
Christian," and to this phrase he had learned to give only the most
conventional meaning.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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