A Knight of the Nineteenth CenturyRoe, Edward Payson
General
A Knight of the Nineteenth Century
Roe, Edward Payson
Fiction
"I shall remain in this city," he replied, speaking from an angry
impulse. "It was here I fell and covered myself with shame, and I shall
here fight my way back to the position I lost. The time shall come when
you will no longer say I'm a disgrace to you and my sisters. My heart
was breaking, and the first word you greet me with is 'disgrace'; and if
I went home, disgrace would always be in your mind, if not upon your
tongue. I should have the word and thought kept before me till I went
mad. If I go home all my old acquaintances would sneer at me as a
mean-spirited cur, whose best exploit was to get in jail, and when his
mother obtained his release he could do nothing more manly than hide
behind her apron the rest of his days. As far as I can judge, you and my
sisters would have no better opinion of me. I have been a wicked fool, I
admit, but I was not a deliberate thief. I did hope for a little comfort
from you. But since all the world is against me, I'll face and fight the
world. I have been dragged through these streets, the scorn of every
one, and I will remain in this city until I compel the respect of its
proudest citizen."
The moment he ceased his passionate utterance, Mrs. Arnot said kindly
and gravely:
"Egbert, you are mistaken. There was no scorn in my eyes, but rather
deep pity and sorrow. While your course has been very wrong, you have no
occasion to despair, and as long as you will try to become a true man
you shall have my sympathy and friendship. You do not understand your
mother. She loves you as truly as ever, and is willing to make any
sacrifice for you. Only, her fuller knowledge of the world makes her
realize more truly than you yet can the consequences of your act. The
sudden shock has overwhelmed her. Her distress shows how deeply she is
wounded, and you should try to comfort her by a lifetime of kindness."
"The best way I can comfort her is by deeds that will wipe out the
memory of my disgrace; and," he continued, his impulsive, sanguine
spirit kindling with the thought and prospect, "I will regain all and
more than I have lost. The time shall come when neither she nor my
sisters will have occasion to blush for me, nor to seclude themselves
from the world because of their relation to me."
"I should think my heart was sufficiently crushed and broken already,"
Mrs. Haldane sobbed, "without your adding to its burden by charging me
with being an unnatural mother. I cannot understand how a boy brought up
as religiously as you have been can show such strange depravity. The
idea that a child of mine could do anything which would bring him to
such a place as this!"
His mother's words and manner seemed to exasperate her son beyond
endurance, and he exclaimed passionately:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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