A Knight of the Nineteenth CenturyRoe, Edward Payson
General
A Knight of the Nineteenth Century
Roe, Edward Payson
Fiction
But while his action did suggest hope, it also contained elements of
discouragement. She did not find fault with what he proposed to do, but
with the spirit in which he was entering on his most difficult task. His
knowledge of the world was so crude and partial that he did not at all
realize the herculean labor that he now became eager to attempt; and he
was bent on accomplishing everything in a way that would minister to his
own pride, and proposed to be under obligations to no one.
Mrs. Arnot, with her deep and long experience, knew how vitally
important it is that human endeavor should be supplemented by divine
aid, and she sighed deeply as she saw that the young man not only
ignored this need, but did not even seem conscious of it. Religion was
to him a matter of form and profession, to which he was utterly
indifferent. The truth that God helps the distressed as a father helps
and comforts his child, was a thought that then made no impression on
him whatever. God and all relating to him were abstractions, and he felt
that the emergency was too pressing, too imperative, for considerations
that had no practical and immediate bearing upon his present success.
Indeed, such was his pride and self-confidence, that he refused to
receive from Mrs. Arnot, and even from his mother, anything more than
the privilege of going out empty-handed into the city which was to
become the arena of his future exploits.
He told Mrs. Arnot the whole story, and she had hoped that she could
place his folly and crime before him in its true moral aspects, and by
dealing faithfully, yet kindly, with him, awaken his conscience. But she
had the tact to discover very soon that such effort was now worse than
useless. It was not his conscience, but his pride, that had been chiefly
wounded. He felt his disgrace, his humiliation, in the eyes of men
almost too keenly, and he was consumed with desire to regain society's
favor. But he did not feel his sin. To God's opinion of him he scarcely
gave a thought. He regarded his wrong act in the light of a sudden and
grave misfortune rather than as the manifestation of a foul and inherent
disease of his soul. He had lost his good name as a man loses his
property, and believed that he, in his own strength, and without any
moral change, could regain it.
When parting at the prison, Mrs. Arnot gave him her hand, and said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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