Of course there were still crumpled rose-leaves. There was Brand, for
instance--Brand of the repairing-shop. He was a strenuous worker and an
admirable mechanic, but he suffered intermittently from a severe form of
the popular disease of the day--the disease which has its roots in the
British national policy of educating a man sufficiently to make him
discontented with his lot and then leaving off. Brand was a Socialist,
or a Revolutionist, or an Anarchist. Philip could never find out which,
and the muddled but pertinacious Brand could never enlighten him. The
most noticeable feature of his malady was an over-copious supply of what
the repairing-shop as a whole termed "back-chat." Mr. Brand was a
stalwart upholder of what he called the dignity of labour. He declined
to be patronised; he smelt patronage as an Orangeman smells Popery. He
also refused to accept an order with any degree of cheerfulness; though,
to do him justice, once he had expressed his opinion of it and the
degradation which he incurred in accepting it, he usually carried it out
with efficiency and dispatch. To one who knows his job almost anything
can be forgiven. We shall hear of Mr. Brand again.
Then there was Alfred, the office-boy. He was a stunted but precocious
child, with a taste for music of a vibratory nature. He believed firmly
in the adage that a merry heart goes all the way, and whistled
excruciatingly from dawn till dusk. His _tremolo_ rendering of "All That
I Ask is Love" appeared to afford him the maximum of human enjoyment.
The departure of Mr. Atherton involved him in some financial loss, for
he had been employed by that vicarious sportsman to execute turf
commissions on his behalf with an unostentatious individual who
conducted his business in the private bar of an unassuming house of call
in Wardour Street. Consequently he considered it only just to make
things unpleasant for the new manager. This object he accomplished in
divers ways, which will be obvious to any schoolboy. Philip suffered in
silence, for he was disinclined to further dismissals, and, moreover,
could not help liking the impudent youth. His patience was rewarded; for
one day, with incredible suddenness, the nuisance ceased, and Master
Alfred became almost demonstrative in his assiduity and doglike in his
affection. Presently the mystery was unfolded. Alfred had discovered
that that usurper, that tyrant, that slave-driver, Mr. Meldrum, was the
identical P. Meldrum who had scored the winning try for the Harlequin
Football Club against Blackheath on the previous Saturday afternoon. One
day, after office hours, almost timidly, he approached his employer and
presented a petition from his own club, the Willesden Green Vampires,
humbly praying that the great Meldrum would honour this unique
brotherhood by consenting to become one of its Vice-Presidents. Philip's
heart warmed at the compliment, and he complied gladly. He achieved
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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