"No. At least, there was only one that I really fancied. It was a queer
thing that I should have cared for him at all. (It's all over now, so
there's no harm in my telling you about it.) We were always having words
one way and another. We had nothing in common, really. Very stuck on his
opinions he was, and always laying down the law. His ideas weren't very
gentlemanly, either. He was a Socialist, and didn't belong to the
Church; but I cured him of that. I must say I improved him wonderfully."
"Was he grateful?" asked Philip.
"He was, and he wasn't. He would do anything I asked him; but if it went
against the grain with him to do it he would say so before he did
it--sometimes all the time he was doing it; and that rather spoils your
pleasure, doesn't it?"
"I should have thought it would increase it," said Philip. "It would
show your great power over him, that you should be able to compel him to
do things against his will."
Miss Jennings deliberated.
"Perhaps you are right," she said at last. "I hadn't thought of it that
way. Still, his back-chat used to worry me to death. And his temper! It
was so fierce, I was frightened of him. He was fierce, too, in the way
he loved me. He would carry on something dreadful at times."
"In what way?"
"Well, supposing I made an appointment with him, and changed my mind and
didn't go--"
"Did you do that often?"
"Oh, yes, sometimes. It's a good thing to do," explained the experienced
Miss Jennings. "If you don't act like that sometimes--promise to meet
him somewhere and then forget--a man begins to think he's engaged to
you. If a girl doesn't respect herself, who else will? That's what I
say. Then his jealousy--my word!"
For a moment Miss Jennings's cheerful little Cockney voice grew quite
shrill. Then came an expressive silence, which Philip construed as an
aposiopetic allusion to this young gentleman whose face had been pushed
in.
"Still," he persisted gently, "you were fond of him?"
Miss Jennings did not answer immediately.
"I suppose I was," she admitted at last. "But I think I was more sorry
for him, if you know what I mean. He didn't know how to look after
himself: he was like a child: he wanted a nurse. But if ever I did try
to do anything for him, he took it up wrong. He thought I was getting
soft on him, and before you could turn round he was trying to lord it
over me. No, this affair never came to anything. It never could: we were
made too different, both of us. Forget it!"
Miss Jennings ceased, and surveyed the long moonlit streak of foam
astern rather wistfully. To-night the land she knew and the man she had
been sorry for seemed to have receded to infinity: over the bow of the
ship the unknown was creeping, hand over hand, inexorably. She sighed,
and then shivered. She was realising the truth of her own dictum on the
subject of a woman's inability to be sensible all the time.
Then the voice of Philip broke the silence, expounding the simple
philosophy of his simple life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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