American fiction -- 19th century; Manners and customs -- Fiction
Ferdinand was not inclined to question his friend's estimate of Miss
Hofmann, nor to weigh his words. They only served to confirm an
impression which was already strong in his own mind. Day by day he had
felt the growth of this impression. "He must be a strong man who would
approach her," he said to himself. "He must be as vigorous and elastic
as she herself, or in the progress of courtship she will leave him far
behind. He must be able to forget his lungs and his liver and his
digestion. To have broken down in his country's defence, even, will
avail him nothing. What is that to her? She needs a man who has defended
his country without breaking down,--a being complete, intact, well
seasoned, invulnerable. Then,--then," thought Ferdinand, "perhaps she
will consider him. Perhaps it will be to refuse him. Perhaps, like
Diana, to whom Knight compares her, she is meant to live alone. It's
certain, at least, that she is able to wait. She will be young at
forty-five. Women who are young at forty-five are perhaps not the most
interesting women. They are likely to have felt for nobody and for
nothing. But it's often less their own fault than that of the men and
women about them. This one at least can feel; the thing is to move her.
Her soul is an instrument of a hundred strings, only it takes a strong
hand to draw sound. Once really touched, they will reverberate for ever
and ever."
In fine, Mason was in love. It will be seen that his passion was not
arrogant nor uncompromising; but, on the contrary, patient, discreet,
and modest,--almost timid. For ten long days, the most memorable days of
his life,--days which, if he had kept a journal, would have been left
blank,--he held his tongue. He would have suffered anything rather than
reveal his emotions, or allow them to come accidentally to Miss
Hofmann's knowledge. He would cherish them in silence until he should
feel in all his sinews that he was himself again, and then he would open
his heart. Meanwhile he would be patient; he would be the most
irreproachable, the most austere, the most insignificant of
convalescents. He was as yet unfit to touch her, to look at her, to
speak to her. A man was not to go a wooing in his dressing-gown and
slippers.
There came a day, however, when, in spite of his high resolves,
Ferdinand came near losing his balance. Mrs. Mason had arranged with him
to drive in the phaeton after dinner. But it befell that, an hour before
the appointed time, she was sent for by a neighbor who had been taken
ill.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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