American fiction -- 19th century; Manners and customs -- Fiction
Richard had turned pale, and began to tremble. "Excuse me, Gertrude," he
said hoarsely, "I've been deceived. Poor, unhappy woman! Gertrude," he
continued, going nearer to her, and speaking in a whisper, "_I_ killed
him."
Gertrude fell back from him, as he approached her, with a look of
unutterable horror. "I and _he_," said Richard, pointing at Luttrel.
Gertrude's eyes followed the direction of his gesture, and transferred
their scorching disgust to her suitor. This was too much for Luttrel's
courage. "You idiot!" she shouted at Richard, "speak out!"
"He loved you, though you believed he didn't," said Richard. "I saw it
the first time I looked at him. To every one but you it was as plain as
day. Luttrel saw it, too. But he was too modest, and he never fancied
you cared for him. The night before he went back to the army, he came to
bid you good-by. If he had seen you, it would have been better for every
one. You remember that evening, of course. We met him, Luttrel and I. He
was all on fire,--he meant to speak. I knew it; you knew it, Luttrel: it
was in his fingers' ends. I intercepted him. I turned him off,--I lied
to him and told him you were away. I was a coward, and I did neither
more nor less than that. I knew you were waiting for him. It was
stronger than my will,--I believe I should do it again. Fate was against
him, and he went off. I came back to tell you, but my damnable jealousy
strangled me. I went home and drank myself into a fever. I've done you a
wrong that I can never repair. I'd go hang myself if I thought it would
help you." Richard spoke slowly, softly, and explicitly, as if
irresistible Justice in person had her hand upon his neck, and were
forcing him down upon his knees. In the presence of Gertrude's dismay
nothing seemed possible but perfect self-conviction. In Luttrel's
attitude, as he stood with his head erect, his arms folded, and his
cold, gray eyes fixed upon the distance, it struck him that there was
something atrociously insolent; not insolent to him,--for that he cared
little enough,--but insolent to Gertrude and to the dreadful solemnity
of the hour. Richard sent the Major a look of the most aggressive
contempt. "As for Major Luttrel," he said, "_he_ was but a passive
spectator. No, Gertrude, by Heaven!" he burst out, "he was worse than I!
I loved you, and he didn't!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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