Architects -- Fiction; Castles -- Conservation and restoration -- Fiction; Love stories; Wessex (England) -- Fiction
‘People cannot’ (he wrote) ‘be for ever in good spirits on this gloomy
side of the Channel, even though you seem to be so on yours. However,
that I can abstain from letting you know whether my spirits are good or
otherwise, I will prove in our future correspondence. I admire you more
and more, both for the warm feeling towards me which I firmly believe
you have, and for your ability to maintain side by side with it so much
dignity and resolution with regard to foolish sentiment. Sometimes I
think I could have put up with a little more weakness if it had brought
with it a little more tenderness, but I dismiss all that when I mentally
survey your other qualities. I have thought of fifty things to say to
you of the TOO FAR sort, not one of any other; so that your prohibition
is very unfortunate, for by it I am doomed to say things that do not
rise spontaneously to my lips. You say that our shut-up feelings are not
to be mentioned yet. How long is the yet to last?
‘But, to speak more solemnly, matters grow very serious with us,
Paula--at least with me: and there are times when this restraint is
really unbearable. It is possible to put up with reserve when the
reserved being is by one’s side, for the eyes may reveal what the lips
do not. But when she is absent, what was piquancy becomes harshness,
tender railleries become cruel sarcasm, and tacit understandings
misunderstandings. However that may be, you shall never be able to
reproach me for touchiness. I still esteem you as a friend; I admire you
and love you as a woman. This I shall always do, however unconfiding you
prove.’
II.
Without knowing it, Somerset was drawing near to a crisis in this soft
correspondence which would speedily put his assertions to the test; but
the knowledge came upon him soon enough for his peace.
Her next letter, dated March 9th, was the shortest of all he had
received, and beyond the portion devoted to the building-works it
contained only the following sentences:--
‘I am almost angry with you, George, for being vexed because I am not
more effusive. Why should the verbal I LOVE YOU be ever uttered between
two beings of opposite sex who have eyes to see signs? During the seven
or eight months that we have known each other, you have discovered
my regard for you, and what more can you desire? Would a reiterated
assertion of passion really do any good? Remember it is a natural
instinct with us women to retain the power of obliging a man to hope,
fear, pray, and beseech as long as we think fit, before we confess to a
reciprocal affection.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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