A laugh a day keeps the doctor awayCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; Anecdotes
When the New York Central inaugurated its fast service between New York
and Chicago there was a great pother along the main line. Employees of
whatsoever rank were instructed that the paramount consideration was to
get the Twentieth Century Limited through on schedule. If the slightest
mishap occurred to the train all hands were charged to forward prompt
reports to headquarters, giving the complete details.
At a small flag-stop west of Albany, the station-agent was a callow
youth. By enthusiasm and a sense of his responsibilities he made up,
though, for what he lacked in experience. In addition to being the
ticket-seller he also was the despatcher.
One wintry evening just at dusk he caught, passing over the wire, word
that the Twentieth Century Limited was two hours behind time. What had
retarded her he did not learn, but he knew wherein his duty lay.
He lit his lantern, sharpened a pencil, and got out a notebook, then sat
him down to bide his time. Ten minutes before the belated Limited was
due to whiz past he left the station, walked eastward along the tracks a
quarter of a mile and posted himself between the rails.
Soon the headlight hove into sight. In an effort to make up the precious
lost minutes the engineer was driving his locomotive at tremendous
speed. Suddenly far ahead he saw the dancing signal of a lantern. He
gave her the brakes; he gave her the sand. Passengers in the coaches
behind were slammed up against the end bulkheads of their berths. With
sparks flying from her wheels, the snorting mogul stopped not fifty feet
distant from where the youth stood. The engineer and his fireman dropped
down from the cab and ran forward, sputtering questions.
The station-agent stilled them with an authoritative gesture. He put
down his lantern on the right-of-way, braced his pad in the crook of his
elbow, poised his pencil ready to record their answers and said briskly:
“Now then, boys, tell me—what detained you?”
§ 211 The Curfew in Nebraska
Of course, in these days, when no community is so small or so obscure or
so old-fashioned that it lacks service stations and jazz orchestras and
schemes for a proposed Civic Center, this story no longer could be made
to apply in any American town.
As the tale runs, a man who had been born and reared in a remote
Nebraska country-seat moved to New York where he succeeded in business.
Years later a friend from his former home came to see him. Naturally,
talk drifted back to childhood scenes and memories.
“I guess the old town hasn’t changed much, has it, Jim?” asked the New
Yorker.
“Not much,” said Jim. “She’s pretty much the same.”
“I presume they still blow the curfew whistle at nine o’clock every
night just as they started to do shortly before I moved East?”
“Naw, they had to quit that after a few months. It woke everybody up!”
§ 212 The Reward of the Early Riser
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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