A laugh a day keeps the doctor awayCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
General
A laugh a day keeps the doctor away
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
American wit and humor; Anecdotes
Painstakingly Mr. Dugan entered references relating to the circumstances
under which the fatality occurred, also the age, color and presumed
value of the lately deceased cow and other particulars, as gleaned from
eye-witnesses and from the bereft farmer. But he was stumped when he
came to the words: “State disposition of the remains?”
He was stumped, but not for long; he set down this:
“She was kind and gentle!”
§ 217 And the Point of Order Was Sustained
Back in 1890 George Clark, of Waco, and James S. Hogg, of Tyler, were
candidates for the Democratic gubernatorial nomination in Texas. At the
convention, Hogg won.
Clark, the defeated aspirant, was not satisfied with the methods used to
bring about his opponent’s nomination. He and some of his followers
bolted the convention and he ran as an independent candidate. In this
emergency, both he and Hogg sought the endorsement of the Republican
organization.
In 1890 the Republican party in Texas was even more of a minority party
than it is to-day. Its leaders mainly were white men, but the rank and
file overwhelmingly was black; so that when the Republican state
convention met at Fort Worth the delegates nearly all were negroes.
The Clark people controlled the preliminary organization. The temporary
chairman called upon the Reverend Sin Killer Griffin to open the
proceedings with prayer. Sin Killer was a famous revivalist hailing from
near the border between Texas and Arkansas. He was fat and black and had
a mighty voice. In thunderous tones he invoked the blessings of the
Almighty upon the assemblage. And just before he concluded, he roared
out these words:
“An’ finally, Oh Lawd, bless thy sarvant, George Clark, an’ mek ’im
gov’ner of de great state of Texas.” Instantly a roar of mingled protest
and approbation arose. The tumult continued for several minutes. Finally
down in the body of the hall a bullvoiced black politician obtained
recognition from the presiding officer.
“Mista’ Cheerman!” he shouted, “I teks de floor to mek a motion: I moves
dat de name of George Clark be oxpunged from dat air prayer an’ dat de
name of de Honor’ble Jeemses Stephens Hogg be substituted therefur.”
The Sin Killer was still upon his feet.
“Mista’ Cheerman,” he proclaimed, “I speaks to a p’int of order.”
“State the point of order.”
“De genelman’s motion is pintedly out of awder fur de reason dat de
prayer in question done went to Heaven more’n five minutes ago!”
§ 218 The Light That Lies in Bankers’ Eyes
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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