“Lemme see ef I got that right?” said the waiter. “You is feelin’ kind of puny so all w’ich you craves frum me is two fried aigs an’ a few kind words.” “That’s it.” The colored man hurried to the kitchen. Presently he returned balancing a small platter. On the cloth before the nervous patron he placed a dish containing two eggs. “Boss, here’s part of yore awder.” He sank his voice to a discreet whisper. “An’ yere’s the rest of it: “_Don’t eat ’em!_” § 314 A Bare Statement The eminent Dr. Blank, specialist in bone and muscular diseases, was a busy man. The routine in his offices was devised with a view to facilitating the handling of cases. He had a full staff of nurses, clerks and attendants. On a certain morning a neatly dressed and diffident-appearing youth entered the outer room and told the nurse in charge that he wished to see Dr. Blank. “Have you an appointment?” she asked. “No, ma’am,” he said. “Then this must be your first visit?” “Yes, ma’am.” “Very well, then. Go to that dressing-room down the hall, second door on the left, and remove all your clothing, including your shoes. Presently a bell will ring and you may then enter the adjoining room where Dr. Blank will be waiting to see you.” Blushingly, the young man started to say that he didn’t think all this was necessary. With an authoritative gesture the nurse checked him. “If you really desire to see Dr. Blank you must do exactly as I tell you,” she stated. “This is the invariable rule for all who call upon him for the first time.” Still protesting, the stranger repaired to the disrobing chamber. Sure enough, within a few minutes a bell tinkled, and, wearing nothing at all except his embarrassment, the youth stepped timorously across a threshold into an inner room where the distinguished specialist sat at a desk. “Well sir,” snapped the expert with professional brusqueness, “what seems to be the matter with you?” “There ain’t nothin’ the matter with me,” said the newcomer. “Well, then, what do you want? What did you come here for?” “I came,” said the youth, “to see if you didn’t want to renew your subscription to the _Ladies Home Journal_.” § 315 One Right Behind Another Some years ago the editor of a popular publication had an inspiration. He made up a list of men and women distinguished in art, religion, literature, commerce, politics, and other lines, and to each he sent a telegram containing this question: “If you had but forty-eight hours more to live, how would you spend them?” his purpose being to embody the replies in a symposium in a subsequent issue of his periodical. Among those who received copies of the inquiry was a humorous writer. He thought the proposition over for a spell, and then by wire, collect, sent back this answer: “One at a time.” § 316 How Time Flies, to Be Sure!